Every week I am blessed to speak to literally hundreds of parents/carers about their awesome children. Firstly, I want to say thankyou for this privilege. I never take your trust for granted and I will NEVER give you anything than what I believe to be a 100% honest answer. Over the years we have learnt that, as parents, YOU are the BEST person when it comes to recognising your child’s signals.
I’m just going to share a quote with you from one of my all time favourite support books – “Your Child Is Not Broken” by Heidi Mavir. Link to book here.
Taken from page 84…
“Parents are often gaslit during our interactions with professionals and support services. When this happens, the professional in question, manipulates you to the point that you question your own sanity, memory or perceptions. Gaslighting can look like being told that you are ‘molly-coddling your child’, being told that they are “fine” when you are not there and it is often implied, or explicitly stated that the only people letting our child down is us“.
Needless to say, that when I read this, it not only broke my heart but sadly hit a chord with me. I remember the early days when Archie was so small and both my husband and I had overheard people questioning our parenting abilities, shushing him when we took him to the Christmas service, tutting at him when he was stimming in the supermarket and later, when fighting for his provision, being repeatedly told that he wasn’t entitled to things that we new full well that (by law) he was.
This week, I have spent most of my time at my desk researching the different organisations and charities that help advise parents who are feeling that they are simply not being listened to. I will provide links below to a few of the wonderful professionals who have helped us in our journey, whether it be to advise about tribunal preparations or even support when it comes to filling out an EHCP plan for your child.
I’ll close this weeks blog with another quote from Heidi Mavir…
“Being ‘that’ parent means being the parent that your child needs you to be. It means protecting your relationship with them and putting their trust in you above the opinions of others. It means showing them that they matter. It means doing things your own way. It means trusting your gut. It means practising self-compassion and that takes… well… practice“.
So, as we move forward to another week, I will be practising what I preach. I am going to continue to put my children’s needs above all else and trust in my own parental instinct.
We at Awesome Archie wish you a phenomenal week. For updates, tips and tricks, please feel free to follow us on our socials. Click here for the links.
Please find below links to some super helpful organisations.