I have always been a massive fan of Christmas. When I was a kid, I remember genuinely not sleeping for nights before the big day. Even now in my forties, I still get overexcited at the sight of a decorated tree and the high street all lit up.
It was only once we had Archie that we realised what a HUGE disruption and difficult period Christmas can be for some families. I know, I am sounding like an old scrooge, but it’s true.
I remember the early days, both pre and post diagnosis, the exhaustion of trying to do the simple things like the weekly shop. The supermarkets were crowded, the decorations were everywhere and the Christmas music was blaring. These were the days before ASD friendly hours of course! I will never forget the COUNTLESS rude comments about my child, all the time delivered by people assuming he was just naughty or that I wasn’t a decent parent. It’s scarring!
It has taken me over a decade to convince myself that I am doing my best. To us, Archie is perfect just the way he is and other peoples, often uneducated views about him or I, don’t really matter.
I am sharing this as I have received a handful of DMs this week. So many of you have shared about experiencing “Mum guilt”- having to spend Christmas with family members that just don’t understand or accept financial strains and health concerns. For these amazing people, Christmas this year is going to feel tough, and for that, I want to tell you that WE ARE HERE!
Take each day of this holiday one at a time. Your “awesome” child and your loved ones are all that matter. Try to surround yourself with people that truly understand that struggle, hopefully making you better equipped to grit your teeth with those who don’t.
Lastly, always champion your child. I am now proud to say that Arch and I always leave early from family events with NO complaints from my AMAZING family. All it took was a little bravery to open up a conversation about why Archie would rather be at home. That it wasn’t anything personal and that I, as his very proud Mum, feel that his needs have to be met for him to have a nice Christmas too.
With this in mind, we decided to host a YouTube live stream of a mini carol concert on our driveway. We wanted to provide some well deserved Christmas cheer for those families who may be having more of a bumpy Christmas journey.
Thank you to all who watched or joined us in person and a MASSIVE thank you to the Boscombe Salvation Army band. We were really touched that you agreed to support us, especially when I know you are so busy at this time of year.