Now , if you follow us on our socials you may be thinking…restful?? But for us, rest is different.
We are a happily, busy family. There is no “lets spend the day reading”, for us there has to be lots of activity but that still feels a whole lot less stressful than school runs, heading out to work etc.
The kids and I have spent a lot of time just being in our PJ’s. Lots of art, lots of movies and even a bit of Pickleball .
My only AA work commitment this holiday was an absolute corker. I was fortunate to be invited to J.P Morgan to talk about our autistic life. The challenges, the awesome parts and the bits we’ve learned along the way.
Having been a parent carer for 17 years, an experienced 1:1 TA and having a bank of brilliant professionals that I trust to call upon when I get stuck…. we felt ready to talk about OUR autistic experience.
I was lucky enough to present in a board room and had our presentation shared via zoom to those working from home. It felt very grown up 🙂
I would like to thank Debbie Bexon and Annabelle Underwood for setting this awesome opportunity up for us and we can’t wait to come and visit you again 🙂
See, that’s it…. I told you it was a quiet one. We hope that you all had a wonderful Easter, whatever you chose to do. See you next week and thanks for reading 🙂
Now before we begin I’d like to address the title of this piece. I am fully aware that many people within the neurodivergent community are not keen on terminology such as ” high functioning” which of course we respect. For me, I’m ok with it, which is also my right as a neurodivergent individual too. I used that term for this piece based solely on the fact the the knowledge learned, distilled and then shared for our readers has been greatly influenced by Dr. lalitaa Suglani’s book entitled ” High Functioning anxiety- a five step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving”. It felt wrong for me to try and rename .
Please know that Archie and I write these pieces from the heart and with nothing but love. We make NO money from the work we do and all of our hard work is on a VOLUNTEER basis purely to support others. We never mean ANY offence with our choice of terminology , especially as we are discussing our OWN beautiful brains. All of what we do and who we are is based on OUR feelings, OUR life and Our experiences.
With NHS doctors appointments getting harder to lock down and wait times growing longer and longer, it’s no wonder that so many of us are turning to websites, literature and homeopathic support outside of the elusive GP surgeries.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we are ALL for self support and education however, you really have to know where to start looking in order to get the correct support for YOU!
Unless you have vast experience in the field, it is easy to misdiagnose yourself and spend a lot of time and money looking in the wrong direction. That’s why we believe that it’s ALWAYS best to get a professional diagnosis wherever you can… it just won’t happen tomorrow. In the meantime, we hope that our content and blogs may help you learn a little more about your own brain type so you can feel as though you have more clarity when the doctor appointment finally does become available.
This recent bout of research on our part has come from a need for me to discover why my anxiety is so vastly different to our autistic son, who has a PDA profile. Surely anxiety is anxiety? You feel scared? You can’t face things? We all feel the same? NO, NO, NO!!!!
After months of studying hard I have been able to sort many of our characteristics into “where they would sit within a diagnosis” piles. This has meant that I have also been able to offer the correct support for both my son and myself. GAMECHANGING!
In this blog, we aim to share OUR experience and, hopefully, it may help you too! But please do remember… I am not a psychologist or GP so this is purely from my own personal/family experience 🙂
In our last post, we spoke about high functioning anxiety, please do check it out. I have spent hours online and have read (cover to cover) a lot of literature, including the brilliant book “High Functioning Anxiety” by Dr Lalitaa and have tried to share the bones of what I discovered. The main one being that this diagnosis didn’t seem to be a “fit” for either Herbie or I… which surprised me. We are both HUGELY anxious but our anxiety must be rooted by some other diagnosis… so I continued my research.
Roll up High Masking ADHD!!!
“High masking ADHD” is a term used to describe when individuals actively or unconsciously suppress or “mask” the outward signs of ADHD. Whether meaning to or not, they do this to fit in with societal expectations or to avoid stigma. Often this leads to emotional exhaustion and difficulty maintaining the facade over time.
I was shocked to see that this is ME!!! The “advocate”, the “shout loud and proud about neurdivergency”, the ” be proud to be you” ME!!! WTF!!!!
This is where the “unconscious suppression” bit comes into play.
I am a HUGELY PROUD neurodivergent and don’t like to believe that I would ever dull that flame, but this has made me realise… I do, more than I even recognised myself.
For example…
Excessive Preparation:
I Spend an inordinate amount of time rehearsing conversations/presentations, planning tasks, or organising to feel competent and in control. I didn’t realise that when people say to me “aren’t you so organised?!” and I feel great, it’s probably because I’ve tried really hard and it’s been such hard work for me to get there! They think that I have it all under control, I don’t I just over prepare.
Overcompensation:
I used to be guilty of repeatedly going above and beyond expectations in my old job. I never knew why. Unfortunately for me, no matter how hard I worked my differences were 100% perceived as deficits and so I soon learned to “not be me” to stop my employers realising how hard I was finding my 1:1 TA position with such little support.
That is one of the many reasons that we now do what we do, and for that I am grateful.
Rigid Self-Control:
Suppressing impulsive behaviours, such as interrupting or fidgeting, even when it feels unnatural or uncomfortable. I actually only do this in a work setting. Thankfully my friends and family all “get it” so I have plenty of time outside of that particular mask. When we are teacher training I am mask-free and endlessly fidgeting. This helps grow understanding and I am proud to be me when it comes to supporting others 🙂
So what are my cognitive signs?
Mental Exhaustion:
I often feel drained from the constant effort to monitor and control my thoughts and actions. I go to bed HOURS before my husband and still sleep soundly and for a long time. It’s tough and exhausting having ADHD!
Difficulty Switching Gears:
I definitely struggle to transition between tasks. I am fine at home because I am in control of the whole day, but relinquishing that control and going with the flow, consumes all of my mental energy. I think most people would agree that I only have two gears… full throttle or parked 🙂
Overthinking:
I hate this one. Sadly, I analyse pretty much every interaction I have ever had. It’s grim! So grim that I wont waste any more of my time on it… bet I’ll analyse that later too!
It’s no wonder that life’s tough sometimes. Consistently bottling up emotions during the day can lead to meltdowns or heightened emotions in private. Just ask my amazing husband! I have no idea what I’d do without him x
So I found MY “fit” but what about Herbie?
Introducing PDA.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is an autistic profile characterised by an extreme need to avoid everyday demands and expectations due to high levels of anxiety. Losing control puts you into fight or flight.
Key Features of PDA
Extreme Demand Avoidance:
Our son avoids tasks or expectations, even those that he would typically enjoy, as a way to manage his overwhelming anxiety. He doesn’t know he’s doing it and he doesn’t know why… it’s a natural protection mode for him!
Need for Control:
He displays a strong drive to control situations and that of those around them to reduce perceived threats to his autonomy.
Social Strategies to Avoid Demands:
He will use tactics such as distraction, excuses, negotiation, or charm to sidestep demands. This is where the hurtful comments roll in, like…”he’s spoiled”, or “you just need to say no more”… not helpful in the least!
High Levels of Anxiety:
Herbie experiences intense anxiety triggered by the expectation of meeting demands or by perceived loss of control. This is why mainstream school is so exhausting for him, and he is well supported! He really struggles with fixed routines or being told what to do, which can lead to challenges in structured environments like school .
Mood Swings and Emotional Dysregulation:
Sadly he has rapid shifts in mood, often tied to his level of perceived control or demand pressure.
Demand Avoidance Across Contexts:
We know that this is correct for Herbie as his avoidance behaviours are not situational but are present in multiple settings, including home, school, or on holiday. Its just our beautiful boys brain and, no matter how hard it gets, we will ALWAYS stand with him in support.
Differences Between PDA and Other Autism Profiles
I recently read…
Unlike some other autistic individuals, those with PDA may have relatively strong social communication skills, using charm, humour, or manipulation to manage interactions.
The avoidance in PDA is rooted in a need to manage anxiety and maintain control, whereas avoidance in other profiles may stem from difficulty with executive functioning or sensory overload.
We hope that you have found this useful and please do remember to follow us on TikTok for daily content like this 🙂
Disclaimer – The views expressed on this account are our own and do not represent the views of any employer or any affiliated organisations. We share because we care but you the reader are in control of how you choose to use the information given.
Anxiety has ALWAYS been a part of my life. I know that mine stems from my own Autistic need for control to feel secure and my ADHD’s overactive mind often makes me feel like I am not good enough.
In my field I am hugely confident, but generally speaking I am anxious about pretty much everything else. This can be debilitating at times and I don’t mind sharing that I only manage so well as I have been successfully medicated for this for the last 14 years. Again, something that people still don’t like talking about!
However, my neurodivergent brain is always encouraging me to learn, and with my favourite topic in the whole world being the brain and its incredible psychology , I am usually never more than a couple of feet away from a psychology book!
Joshua and I have just returned from a short cruise ( adult time), and during our break I devoured the most remarkable book written by Dr. Lalitaa. It is entitled: “High functioning anxiety- a five step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving.”
With having anxiety myself and loving an autistic child with a PDA profile, it never hurts me to understand a little about the way our awesome brains do what they do, and this book delivered!
I soon realised that high functioning anxiety doesn’t seem to present like mine. When I am anxious, EVERYONE knows it. I am either playing the fool to lighten the mood, short tempered because I feel “out of control”, or very emotional. People with HFA are EPIC and wearing a mask, often smiling their widest when they are feeling at their worst!
They have a huge inner critic and are often telling themselves that they aren’t good enough, even when those around them think that they are doing well!
According to the book, the fear of “not being good enough” can push those with HFA to do all they can to excel, fearing judgement of failure. This is also the reason that they are so often “people pleasers” as they believe that saying “no” will lead to rejection.
This really hit me. I feel anxious because I have to say no to so many things to guard my mental health and reduce the risk of burnout; (I rarely socialise outside of my beautiful family). But, those with HFA are so concerned by and afraid of rejection or judgement that UNABLE to say “no thanks.”
This essentially means that you are slave to everyone else, with no ability to put your own needs, and that of your own children/partner before colleagues and friends.
Interestingly a person with HFA often doesn’t need validation from their children/partner as they KNOW that they are loved and so wont be rejected. Sadly this means they are often the ones that miss out on a lot of precious family time because HFA took over! This then creates guilt and then even more anxiety!
I can’t imagine how exhausting that must be!
So we have decided that we need to help.
Over the next few weeks we will be sharing lots of hints and tips on our socials, explaining how to support yourself or your loved ones who show the many signs of living with High functioning anxiety.
Please know that you are not alone!
There are therapists, Dr’s, Physiologists, pieces of literature, online info and so much support out there if you are able to ask.
Please remember to follow us on our TikTok page for support with this.
Welcome back to our website and to this, our latest blog post.
Our eldest Son Josh is not only a super hero sibling, but a huge behind the scenes content creator for us . I was elated to discover that he had treated me to a mini cruise to Bruges as a Mothers day gift.
The idea was that we could enjoy some care free adult time and I could do one of the things that I LOVE most…content creating!.
I have been Archie’s full time carer for the last 16 years and although I am proud to do this for him, I was more than overdue the break. I am Archie’s primary care giver and my Husband works REALLY long hours, so this was a real eye opener for us both. Ian stopped work to care for the kids and I had to try and remember what being “Beckie” not Mum, was like.
Needless to say that although I tried, I never fully left Mum mode as the kids were of course relentlessly on my mind, but I had a wonderful break and grew so much closer to our adult son, which was magical. I certainly feel refreshed and ready for 2 whole weeks with our busy brood over the Easter break.
P&O’s Ventura itself was beautiful and the size reminded me very much of The Disney Magic, my favourite cruise ship. But what hugely impressed us was the Autism support on board.
I was fortunate enough to chat to a number for staff about what we do at Awesome Archie and they willingly shared information about on board adaptations to support Autistic travelers. I certainly felt right at home and “seen” as an autistic woman who always has a lot of questions. Massive thanks to all the crew for talking to us about your neurodivergent support.
“P&O Cruises offer accessibility support for autistic passengers, including assistance with boarding, dining, and during the muster drill. They do encourage advance notification of any specific needs via the on-board “needs” questionnaire”
You can do this soon after booking but no later than 2 weeks before sailing.
There is also a disability service via an email where you can request assistance with boarding ( including a priority check in) or a security escort. Simply highlight your specific area of need and P&O will do what they can to support you in having a smooth and enjoyable holiday.
How great is that? It made Josh and I wonder what would happen if mainstream schools took that same level of empathy and adopted that individualised support method?! I can’t help feeling that things would work out a lot better both in school and for the families that we proudly support and the pupils that so often go ” unseen”.
There are also accommodations that can be made within the dining portion of your cruise. You can contact the MDR manager to arrange a specific table, time, and potentially pre-order meals to reduce your anxiety. You can even request a table in a corner facing the wall to minimize distractions. We just couldn’t believe the level of support available.
Well done P&O!!!
Some additional tips for our Autistic families travelling on P&O’s Ventura.
Consider Shore Experiences:Explore accessible shore experiences, which will be marked as “accessible” on My P&O Cruises.
Low Activity Filter: If you have reduced mobility or use a walking aid but are not a wheelchair user, use the “low activity” search filter when browsing shore experiences.
Safety Information: Be aware of the ship’s size, heavy doors, raised thresholds, and other safety information when moving around the ship.
Mobility Aids: Mobility scooters and wheelchairs are welcome .
Support with food alergies
P&O explained…
If you have food concerns just Customer Contact Centre or your travel agent know about any allergies, special dietary requirements or food intolerances when you book or no later than 3 days prior to departure.
If you book through the P&O website, you’ll need to call and make the Customer Contact Centre aware of your special dietary needs on 03453 555 111 (local call charges apply).
Vegetarian and vegan diets are catered for as standard across our fleet in all restaurants. Guests who follow a kosher diet must inform P&O no later than 10 weeks before you set sail. The alergy web page says…
“We’re delighted to provide peace of mind through tailored menu options. We’ll always do our very best to accommodate everyone’s needs on board.
You’ll receive a welcome letter in your cabin inviting you to meet the Food and Beverage team. During this meeting, you’ll have the chance to talk with them about food safety during your holiday, gain advice on which restaurants to eat at, and find out how to pre-order your meals. We’ll be happy to organise and book dining for you in the Freedom and Club restaurants or make any reservations for the speciality restaurants. Guests with severe allergies are advised to use the included Freedom and Club restaurants to further minimise the risk of cross-contamination. Room service has a list of all guests’ dietary requirements and allergies.”
On board info
The horizon magazine that is popped into your room daily, gives you all the days activities. This meant that we were able to make a plan. ( As an AuDHDer I NEED a good plan)
We could schedule our meals and shows and press our formal wear in good time. Planning makes all the difference for me so this was a feature that I LOVED! There is also a phone in your room and you can call reception for any further queries 🙂
For details on our day to day activities simply follow us on TikTok. We have also added some vlogs linked here for your ease !
Bruges is a medieval masterpiece that is often described as the Venice of the North.
With its cobbled streets, stunning canals, and breathtaking architecture, you feel as though you took journey back in time. As Josh and walked through the little streets, we were mesmerized by its unique blend of history, art, and CHOCOLATE!!! From the swan-filled canals to the frighteningly low bridges, every corner of Bruges tells a story and WHAT a story it was !!!
Seeing as this was our first independent holiday, we decided to opt for a P&O excersion into Bruges itself . This meant that we were picked up at our port, driven on a coach with a lovely guide and picked up later in the day. This meant that my level of anxiety was greatly reduced as once again… WE HAD A PLAN!!! We even had a number to call if we got lost and our guide would come and rescue us…thankfully this wasn’t needed!
We walked for almost six hours, ensuring that we had coffee, lunch and water breaks along the way. We also enjoyed a canal tour that was tremendous value for money . It was 15 euros per person as apposed to the 70 euro horse and cart tour. This was also the moment we took full advantage of the free Cafe wifi so we could message home 🙂 Needless to say, I was missing the kids.
Both Josh and I had an amazing time and we will definitely be going back on a short cruise with Ventura however, I was relieved that we didnt have the boys with us. We recognised that for them, the Stag and Hen parties would have been very overwhelming. The few days and amazing value for money will inevitably bring these kind of fun parties on board, so we would suggest going for a longer length cruise to have a calmer and more family friendly feel.
We genuinly loved it and I want to say a massive thanks to Our Son Josh for being such an AWESOME ship mate…. bring on the next one 😉
Neurodiversity Week is an annual event dedicated to raising awareness and promoting understanding of neurodiversity and neurogivergency.
Neurodiversity is all of us, our brains are all different. We have different tastes in food, love of music and preferred celebs … Ant or Dec? ” (Mines Dec BTW 😉 ) Our brains may all look similar, but each one has varying areas of strengths and interests, thankfully that’s why we are all different.
Neurodivergency refers to the people with further variations in brain function and cognition such as the awesome autistic community, those with ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and other neurological differences. ALL should be recognised, celebrated and respected as part of our amazing human diversity!
We are forever fighting the fact that, so often, these AWESOME differences are still regularly viewed as disorders or deficits. This means that many parents may be afraid to acknowledge the signs or may feel too overwhelmed or intimidated to go down “that” path.
Mainstream schools often regard the number of kids with an EHCP as a problem to address, not realising the ENORMOUS potential these kids have, if only they received the correct support!
The goal of Neurodiversity Week is to highlight the strengths and unique perspectives of all brain types, but particularly focusing on neurodivergent individuals, reduce stigma, and foster inclusion in all areas of society including education, the workplace, and beyond. It’s a time to educate people about the importance of embracing ALL ways of thinking, learning, and processing information, and to support a more inclusive environment for those who are neurodivergent.
This is what we do here at Awesome Archie. With two of our four beautiful children being neurodivergent , and me having a late awakening to my own neurodivergency… it’s our privilege to do what we do!
One of the main issues of true inclusivity in mainstream schools is the appalling lack of funding and up to date training. One “what is autism?” training session every couple of years is nowhere near enough. We spend hours every day reading, researching, checking the DofE SEND updates, listening to podcasts (thanks to the SENDcast) and STILL have trouble keeping up to date with terminology, guidance and rule changes. However, we are trying and that’s all we ask of school staff.
Sadly, there is nothing we can do to correct the financial deficits that so many schools face, but we CAN support you with up to date training and the use of our visuals FOR FREE!!!!
We are based in the south of England and all of our “in person” training sessions are fully booked up until March 2026! However, we happily share online content for you to use in your twilight sessions or just send to staff members for them to watch at their own pace.
(By the way, all of our in person training is free but we do have to charge for travel expenses if heading further than Southampton to make this viable.)
With all that being said, we have spent the week creating more visual tools to use in school or at home and have added them to our resource bank. Simply screen shot or right click on the image and select download . Here are just a couple, pop up to our “Visuals” tab for more 🙂
We hope that by sharing this information, you will feel empowered to, not only support your wonderful neurodivergent students, but to advocate for their needs and rights as well!
Do feel free to drop us an email for more info 🙂
Fun at The PicklePad!
Brace yourself, I did a sport and LOVED IT!!!!!
OK, I realise that this may sound ridiculous, but for anyone that knows me well, you will know that I have always found sporting activities very overwhelming. Not only being neurodivergent but also having been 8 stone heavier in my past, sport has only ever terrified me. This is one of the many reasons we love working with Dan Moody (School Sport Partnership Manager & School Games Organiser) as we are able to share our insights as to why we think many kids find sport so tough. The PicklePad is one of our latest recommendations!
In January the ENORMOUS PicklePad opened. It is the first hybrid model for both pickle ball and padel, not only in the UK, but the whole of Europe!! I was lucky enough to have my first go at padel, and I LOVED it!;
PADEL
Padel is a mix of tennis, squash and badminton.
It is played on a small, enclosed court.
It is a cross between tennis and squash where the ball can bounce off the glass wall or metallic mesh that surrounds the court.
It is always played in doubles.
You play with a paddle. Padel is known for being fun, fast-paced, and sociable.
We have created some content showing you just how much fun it was and we would highly recommend you having a go. There was a real sense of community and, where else can you have some sporting fun followed by a fresh hot pie a massive glass of wine and great company?!
Thanks so much for allowing us to come and share this AWESOME space with you 🙂
Time to Reflect.
This week we said goodbye to one of our amazing family members, uncle Al.
Ally was so much more than an uncle for my husband and his sister. They lost their father suddenly when they were really young and Ally stepped in as their father figure and then, of course, grandfather figure. What a job he did and we are so sad that he’s no longer with us.
His amazing example prompted me to think about the parenting role itself, how extended parent/support figures are SO vital, particularly with neurodivergent families.
Parent/carers often face unique challenges that are emotionally, physically, and financially demanding. This is why family support is VITAL. As parents Ian and I have always relied on each other and our family members to help us get through what can be a very overwhelming parenting journey.
Caring for a loved one with additional needs can be emotionally exhausting. We so often experience stress, anxiety and even depression due to the demands of care-giving. Having a supportive family network provides a safe space for us to express our emotions, seek advice, and simply take a break when needed. It helps alleviate our feelings of isolation, which is common when so often we feel that others may not understand our personal struggles.
So, we dedicate this blog to “Ally Ally” with thanks and love. A 6ft 4in gentle giant who NEVER had a bad word to say about anyone. The man who helped my husband to be a remarkable father and a wonderful example to our children. You are forever loved and are greatly missed x
I have to be honest, this weeks blog update is being written by the power of coffee alone!! I am utterly exhausted but joyful about the truly amazing week of celebration that we have had.
Later in this post I will share some of the reality of living in the big wild world when your beautiful autistic brain faces so many challenges, but for now… we celebrate!
Twyhnam senior school have hosted us for the last 3 neurodiversity weeks but this year we ramped it up by hosting not one, but 2 assemblies 🙂
We spoke about the incredible brain and how none of us could live without it. We reminded the kids to keep a check on their mental health and how kindness is key but, we also hit them with some harsh reality. How trolling and ablism is a daily occurrence as a content creator and the impact that can have. (To clarify, Archie is never permitted to see ANY of our work comments so he is unaffected 🙂 )
We spoke to almost 600 students (over 2 days) and they were kind, respectful and listened beautifully. Thankyou Twynham for having us back and you are in the diary for next year… with excitement.
Reasonable adjustments and support for the Coaching Circle.
Dan Moody – School Sport Partnership Manager & School Games Organiser, contacted us to see if we would like to lead another “coaching circle” session and we, of course, said yes!
Via a teams meeting, we spoke about the potential challenges faced by neurodivergent students taking part in PE or sporting events. With Archie’s willingness to share his past experiences, we were able to create some information slides that have been emailed to all participants. MASSIVE thanks to Dan for giving us this opportunity and we can’t wait to hear all about the results in our next meeting 🙂
Archie’s work experience week
Now you KNOW that we are all about sharing the highs and the lows, and this week was ENORMOUSLY challenging for Archie. It was his work experience week and sadly , it didn’t go quite as planned.
Archie has a love of animals with a particular fondness for cats and small dogs. At just 13 he gained a diploma in feline behaviour and wellness so it’s been a theme for a while. However, Archie, like so many autistic people, struggles with often debilitating anxiety. Sadly for him this week, his anxiety took over and he was unable to continue his work experience. After experiencing multiple anxiety attacks, it was decided by all that this just wasn’t the right time for Arch to continue .
As his Mum I want to say an ENORMOUS thanks to The Winchelsea team for recognising Archie’s needs so perfectly and to Noarck, the boarding kennels that gave Archie such a wonderful opportunity. It didn’t work out as we’d hoped but we are so proud of what he achieved in the process.
Archie helped groom a husky, played with cats (even the spicy ones) and our proudest achievement… HE EXPRESSED HIS FEELINGS AND EXPLAINED THAT HE FELT UNWELL!!!!! We are SO PROUD of you Archie.
To end this post – we hope to remind you that inclusion is not about perfection.
There is no such thing.
Endlessly chasing perfection can only end in a feeling of failure and who needs that?! It’s about celebrating and recognising progress, no matter how small. It’s about having an open mind and showing empathy… even when life throws in a curve ball. It’s your loved ones or students knowing that you have their back! So go forth and be a loud and proud advocate for neurodivergncy… you could change a life!!!
WOWSERS, this has been a wonderfully busy week, lets jump right in!
We at Awesome Archie are always aiming to be up to date with the support that we provide (for free) to our many families, schools and workplaces.
We do this by keeping current with our CPD and constantly learning from the experts in the neurodivergent and educational field. Throughout the entire academic year, we are taught by the hundreds of industry experts via the SENDcast and annually we attend the NAS Professionals’ Conference.
This year was so helpful for us as a team. There was so much about the importance of being a consistent neuro-affirming educator, support worker, parent, carer. How small adjustments and lots of patience and empathy can literally change an entire life!
HOW INSPIRING IS THAT?! YOU CAN CHANGE A PERSONS LIFE!!!!
The conference itself was eight hours long with powerful insights from people like Holly Sprake-Hill, Carrie and David Grant, Holly Sutherland and Davida Hartman.
We also learned about a phenomenal, FREE senior school support called NEST. If you would like to hear details about this remarkable… and I’ll say it again “FREE” toolkit, please visit their website.
We pledge to continue to use ALL of the information learned to better support our community. We LOVE doing what we do and we never take for granted the privilege of sharing your parenting/teaching journey. Please, if you have any specific questions or need to be pointed in a new direction, drop us an email on awesomearchieontour@gmail.com and we will be happy to help 🙂
All our fresh knowledge will be turned into short, but valuable, daily content that you can access (for free!) via our socials… so follow us to ensure that you don’t miss out!!
This week, I have been lucky enough to see two local schools demonstrate the value and importance of a soft landing for their neurodivergent students.
The term “school soft landing” describes an environment where a pupil is met with warmth and no rush at the start of the school day. As each child is wonderfully unique, the landing should be too. For one child, entering via the school office 15 minutes early could be a great starter. For others, a TA welcoming with a gentle, quiet, playful and fun period before any work begins can be the key to a great day in class.
Unfortunately, with the school system being vastly underfunded and teaching staff so often not given the opportunity for regular and up to date SEN training, consistent, successful soft landings are rare. Enter Miss Lucy Dyer and Mrs Rowan Totczyk.
These two remarkable school support workers, both from different schools across Dorset and Hampshire, have demonstrated how an empathetic start to a child’s day can make all the difference. Both Ro and Lucy go above and beyond their “official job role”. We have consistently witnessed incredible art pieces (made at home in their free time) for pupils to enjoy. We’ve seen mindful meditations and “Mario Cart” themed exercises to support both monotropic interest and proprioceptive regulation.
THANKYOU TO YOU, YOU ARE BOTH AWESOME!
Lovely RoLovely Lucy
Thank you to Specsavers Christchurch for showing true neuroinclusivity!
Our family of six is proudly neurospicy! We love to share our adventures with anyone who’ll listen. We try to focus on the positives, but are realistic with the lows and share all of these emotions on our many socials. One of the areas that I struggle with the most is close interactions with strangers. I hate visiting the doctor, I am always uncomfortable at the dentist and getting my eyes checked is the worst. I mean, it’s not hard to see why?! You are literally sat nose to nose with a stranger that will shine a light in your eyes while asking multiple questions… nightmare! But not any more… and, before you ask… WE ARE NOT SPONSORED OR OBLIGED TO SHARE THIS!
Specsavers in Christchurch have gone above and beyond to make us all feel comfortable. From the lovely Kieran Bull (our optometrist) to Amelia Crabb who talked me through the dreaded “puff in eye” gadget… we are so thankful.
I simply explained that I was nervous and that being autistic meant that, for me, this kind of thing was tough. They looked after us with respect, care and empathy. Daisy and I now have beautiful brand-new specs, and the boys are following soon 🙂
Firstly we need to say a massive thanks to the ‘Make a Difference’ team at BBC Radio Solent. As you may remember, Archie and I were nominated last year and received a highly commended award (literally sat next to me as I type!) but this year, I am a round one judge!! I am so excited and hugely grateful for this awesome opportunity.
“The Make a Difference Awards are your chance to say thank you and recognise those who improve lives where we live.
The award nominations are now open. Winners will be selected by a panel of judges and awards will be given in each category, across each national and local BBC radio station.
Shortlisted finalists will be notified from June 2025 and our Make a Difference Award ceremonies are taking place across the UK in September 2025.
Follow the latest on the awards on social media using the hashtag #BBCMakeADifference.“
These awards were SO IMPORTANT for us! It not only got our work “out there” but it also meant that Archie and I have been driven to keep doing what we’re doing. Please do nominate someone who does good things for their community, it may mean the world to them!
Archie and I have spent the last five years endlessly talking about autism, ADHD and Tourettes and celebrating individuality and embracing neurodivergence!
We do this by posting daily neurodivergent content, volunteering in schools (more on that later 😉 ), providing FREE staff training, supporting local charities and connecting with parents who are often feeling very isolated and alone. Trust me, it’s a tough gig being a parent carer, and it’s great to know that you are not alone.
This week we held our first parent/carer coffee catch-up in Christchurch and although the crowd was small in number, it was massive in the support that we all had for each other. It was awesome to be able to just sit, drink coffee and talk about how tough things can be, but also to laugh and celebrate all the quirks of neurodivergent life.
Massive thanks to all that came and we will get another in the diary for later this year 🙂 Check it out here ⬇
Danny Butler – Extreme Mountain Biking at the stunning Walhampton school.
Well, this was AWESOME!!!! I am so lucky to be able to regularly support a lovely young man in school (as part of our volunteer 1:1 work) and this week, he and I were invited to the breathtaking Walhampton school to watch world record holder and all round epic dude Danny Butler perform amazing tricks on his mountain bike.
Firstly… WHAT A SCHOOL!!! I felt like I was walking into Buckingham Palace…. EPIC! The staff were welcoming and friendly, the kids were happy and polite, it was wonderful!
Walhampton school…I KNOW RIGHT?!
The show itself was fantastic.
The Extreme Mountain Bike Show is the UK & Europe’s number one Mountain Bike, Trials/BMX demonstration Team lead by the Multiple British and European Mountain Bike Trials Champion Danny Butler.
The team provide the very best in hassle free extreme entertainment to any live event we specialise in bringing tricks and stunts to family shows and broadcasts. We off our shows day or night. using our own specialist show rigs that are equipped with their own lighting and solar power supply, making us the UK’s only eco friendly Mountain Bike Team
From community events to arena exhibitions or live tours, we cater bespoke packages for every and any event. Our diverse packages are tried and tested with over 10 years experience. We provide a hassle free and professional service.
Danny spoke to the kids about the vital importance of safety gear, getting outside in the fresh air and looking after your body with nutritional food and healthy exercise. We would highly recommend this brilliantly fun, but educational, show to all of our schools 🙂
Please do check out the extreme mountain bike show website below…. it was AWESOME!!!!!
Don’t panic, this is not a holiday blog! (Although, if that is your bag do check out our holiday YouTube channel “Awesome Archie’s Vacay Vlog” where we will be sharing family holiday content over the next few weeks!)
This is The Awesome Archie guide to Disneyland Paris as a neurodivergent family. The good, the bad, the things we learnt and the little hints and tips that made our holiday magical!
It is going to be a long one, so I am going to get as many subheadings in as possible. This way you can just scroll on past until you find the info that is relevant to you 🙂
4 Weeks before – The pre-Disney prep.
We have been parent carers for almost 17 years now. This means that we have learned A LOT through our mistakes… and lack of preparation is THE BIGGEST and the most damaging one for us as a family. Without fail, if we don’t prepare, we have unregulated children which equates to a very overstimulated mum and a lot of precious time wasted on holiday.
PREP IS EVERTHING!
YouTube has been our most valuable tool for getting the boys (and myself) ready. Four weeks before we go anywhere, we get the videos up online and each day we have them on the TV as we are eating our supper. So far, from the comfort of our dinner table, we have had a DLP hotel room tour, ridden on “Crush’s Coaster”, looked through the menus and seating at various restaurants, been in the famous LEGO store in Disney Village and seen the parade.
To many people, the lack of surprise would feel like a negative, but to us (as a proud neurodivergent family) it is AWESOME! Archie, Herbie and I feel safety in familiarity and so knowing a little about what the rides looks like, or what the restaurant food choices are, eases our anxiety. Many autistic people find security in routine and predictability, so this is a winner for us 🙂
We also use this time to start the packing. This one is less for the kids and more for my own anxiety. Having children with medical needs means that you have to be super organised. You have to ensure that the prescriptions will be ready on time and an up to date doctor’s note is provided (if required). We have to prepare multiple sets of clothes for ALL eventualities along with all of the boys support aids like wheelchair, ear defenders, fidget aids etc. This takes a HUGE amount of planning and it starts by me making a detailed list and plan of action four weeks before we go. Thankfully, much of the list is repeatable holiday after holiday so I have a PDF saved that I simply add to each time… brilliant time saver!
Join a Disneyland Facebook (or similar) group.
This one does come with a little warning! You will definitely read the odd post of an unhappy visitor, but we have found these groups super handy. People leave buggies for other families to use, leave snacks, arrange ear exchanges… it’s AWESOME! It’s within these groups that you can ask the real life questions and get other parents’ honest opinions. It’s also a GREAT way to get some updated tips on the day as lots of people post in real time 🙂 It’s very useful… but you will get hundreds of daily notifications, so be prepared!
Take your Tech!
I can’t tell you how many times when our kids were little that I would say “no tech this holiday, we are going to play board games and read!” Honestly, WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I will justify this by saying that, at the time, I didn’t have even a quarter of the knowledge and experience as I do now but my gosh… NEVER AGAIN. Archie and Herbie NEED to have a brain break and a rest from the real world and we are elated to fully support them with this. Sometimes, they may wear their ear pods with an audio book playing or the soundtrack from Zelda (Archie finds that calming). We always take a pocket device, the old fashioned Gameboy is a great one for when we are waiting in restaurants etc (as it needs no Wi-Fi) and an in car DVD for the long journey is a sanity saver for us all 😉
At this point I will say that there is still (unbelievably) the odd occasion that people will make those age old, uninformed comments like… ” they are always on that tablet, etc.,” – years of this has taught us to not waste our time defending our parenting choices, as our kids needs will ALWAYS be our top priority, we don’t need to appease others!
Create a visual routine/plan or social story for the trip (we try to be as accurate as we can) and don’t forget to say that there may be things like traffic as an unknown factor. I keep sweet snacks handy for that moment. If you need a template we have created one for you to use here, print out and fill out the blanks as required 🙂
Hotel Check in and collection of our priority passes.
We drive to Disney via the channel tunnel. This means that we can bring lots of things with us as apposed to trying to stuff it all into a cabin bag. The journey takes around 7 hours but we all find space for a little nap along the way and try to enjoy our “on drive movies” thanks to an ancient portable DVD player.
We have always been a Disney family because they have NEVER let us down with the care of our neurodivergent family. From the Disney Cruise Lines (we have now done six across three of the Disney Cruise ships) to the parks themselves, they have always had great accommodations and support for us and our individual needs.
We applied for The DLP Priority Card. Both boys qualified so we had 2. These cards…
Provide priority access to attractions, shows, parades, character meet-ups, restaurants, and shop checkouts .
Lower wait times for queuing for rides, meeting characters, and park admission .
May also entitle you to discounted park tickets and Annual Passes .
Who can get a priority pass?
Guests with disabilities or a long-term chronic disease. Autism is an official disability.
Guests who have official proof of disability accepted at Disneyland Paris – Details of this are on out TikTok video all about the pass 🙂
How we applied.
We applied online 4 weeks before we arrived – We did it through the Disney app but you can Google “Disney Priority pass” and all the links are there, along with all the relevant info.
We picked up our cards at our hotel concierge desk but you can get the pass at the dedicated desks at the entrance to the Parks.
We had to present valid proof of disability and proof of identity. It literally took 5 minutes 🙂
What a difference the passes made for us! We hit around 8 – 10 rides per day and our longest wait time was 15 mins for Crushes coaster! AWESOME!!!
The Hotel – We stayed at the incredible Newport Bay.
Firstly, what a brilliant hotel for us as a large family. There are six of us and so we spread over two rooms but thankfully, these were opposite each other and so we were all close and with ample space. This is something that I requested when we booked, but it is never guaranteed so we were really grateful.
The hotel is HUGE, but that didn’t worry any of us at all. We had very peaceful sleeps and beautifully filling breakfasts. The staff were incredibly kind and attentive and the hotel itself is beautiful, with a stunning nautical theme. The boys LOVED this as it felt just like our Disney Cruises… apart from the fact that the room didn’t sway 😉
I will be sharing detailed videos on our TikTok and on YouTube, so do follow us on our socials for this content.
Pillow case hack
If you want your child to feel more familiar in their hotel bed, let them bring their own pillow or at the very least… the case. If it’s been used for a good few days it will give them a smell of home that may help make the transition a lot easier for them 🙂 I also bring our home scent reed diffuser with us so our room smells of home. I have to say thought, the hotel smelt INCREDIBLE!!!
Eating as a large family.
Feeding our brood on holiday is tricky! With Archie being very selective with his food and with the meal costs being over £150 each sitting ( because there are six of us) we have to plan. We purchased the bed and breakfast option at the hotel and this was a WINNER for us! The selection was fantastic and this meant that we loaded up at breakfast with a cooked option and croissants, pastries etc. Any half eaten bits our kids left, we put in a food bag and took out to the park to snack on later.
We took lots of Pot Noodles (a safe food), pot mash ( blurrugh, don’t bother 😉 ) cup ‘o’ soups, crisps, choccy bars and biscuits. We also took squash and some cans of fizzy to reduce costs. As I said, we drive in our people carrier and so we can load up to save pennies. Just check on the channel tunnel guide as to what you cannot bring (e.g., milk). There are also multiple petrol stations and shops on the way to DLP… there is even an ALDI on route, so you could stop and shop once you’re nearly at Disney itself!!! There is also a super handy mini mart in the Marne-le-Vallee train station (at the entrance to the parks). They sell packet sandwiches, crisps, plasters, sanitary pads, nappies etc., and all at a fraction of the price of in park shops.
Our days were filled with budget friendly snacks in the parks like Mickey Pizza etc., McDonalds, Cape Cod buffet or the cart pretzels were our evening meal choices. This worked out SO much cheaper than buying the meals package for us 🙂 It was also much better for Archie as it was “normal food!” his words 😉
Magic hours
Now this is a privilege reserved for the official Disney Hotel guests only, but is simply BRILLIANT. Not only are the parks much quieter, the ride lines are super quick and sometimes you can get off and hop on again straight after. We reserved the “big” rides for these magic hours and we made sure that we kept a close eye on our Disney app the second the rope dropped on our chosen park. I have to say though, if you are a priority pass family like us, there is no rush to hit the magic hour as you have such a minimal wait anyway 🙂 This way you can have a lay in and a chilled breakfast time.
The Disney App is EVERYTHING!!!
Make sure that you have got the Disey app up and running on your phone long before you go. This way you can get used to navigating the app at speed and check ride waits, parade times and make reservations. Spending just that little bit of prep time before the holiday will save you so much wasted time while you are away. The kids also love the fact that is has a countdown to your holiday that updates daily 🙂
It holds the digital map, a QR code for your park entrance and its also where you reserve your spot for the Avengers training session. You can also book your seats for the live shows… the app is everything!
AND LASTLY
Make sure you have loads of data storage on your phone. We took literally thousands of photos and videos and used the hotel and “in park Wi-Fi” to WhatsApp some updates to family.
Don’t forget to follow us on our socials for loads of videos, lots of info and in ride footage to support your families 🙂
Hello lovely readers / followers / friends. As always, thanks for giving us your time and we really hope you enjoy this week’s installment. Another busy week so lets get into it 🙂
As both a mum and as a non profit founder I have been volunteering “in school” 1:1 support for the last decade. Firstly, for Awesome Archie himself and now with any student that has yet to have a fully funded 1:1 when they deserve one. I am now privileged to support a young child in the beautiful William Gilpin School and it’s here that we were introduced to SCARF.
We celebrated with a “wear a scarf to school day” and in WG’s morning assembly the headteacher – Simon Croutear – explained…
“Children’s mental health week is about celebrating ALL children. It’s about reflecting and respecting that we are all unique, different and we all have something to give back to our community. You could be a great leader, a problem solver, a supporter of good. The SCARF values represent us all -Safety, Caring, Achievement, Resilience, Friendship.”
He then went on to announce that many of the children had shown these values throughout the week. These pupils had been praised for keeping spirits high, not giving up with blending of CVC words, helping friends, sharing ideas, being inclusive and kind… I could go on!
To be honest, I felt a bit teary as it reminded me of a quote that we, as a team stand by.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky.
It’s a tough old world when you are growing up and when you are neurodivergent, it’s even tougher. There have been MANY times in my life where I have felt like a complete failure. I’ve been misunderstood, told I’m too loud, too wacky and, each time, I have felt less and less valuable, less able to contribute to society and less accepted… until now of course 🙂
The WG pupils are so lucky to be reminded that having a go, trying and not succeeding (yet) is a valuable opportunity for growth. It’s so much better to try and even when the outcome is not as expected, it gives you a chance to reflect. To see that you’re still ok, even after things haven’t gone as planned.
So, let’s celebrate ourselves. Embrace our unique brains, our individuality, our own gifts and talents and share them as best we can for the benefit of our community and our own mental health.
Thanks for allowing AANP to take part 🙂
Archie’s latest hospital check up.
As many of you will already know, ADHD medication changed not only Archie’s life, but ours as a family too. Not every child will need to be medicated for their ADHD but for Arch, it was genuinely his life saver. After 8 years of therapy, vitamin supplements, hours and hours of parenting courses, multiple books read… it was our last resort.
THANK GOD WE DID!
Because of his type of medication we have to abide by many very important rules, one of which is attending a six monthly in-hospital check ups. Archie is weighed, measured and his blood pressure is checked. He has a chat with his incredible pediatric team and they support and advise us in which ever areas we are struggling in. Massive thanks to the team and the CDC, you are AWESOME!
Archie flew through all of his recent checks with flying colours 🙂
It’s also on that same note that we want to personally thank Alex Partridge. His latest book “Now It All Makes Sense” is a must read for ADHD’ers, particularly those not yet or late to being diagnosed. I am only half way through and, already, I can confirm that it is simply brilliant and we highly recommend it. Rich and Roxanne Pink have called it “a powerhouse of a book” and I have to agree.
When I have finished it I will be writing a full blog to celebrate.
