If you’re currently staring at your results and feeling like the ground has just opened up beneath you, take a breath. Results day can feel like the end of the world, but it’s really not — it’s just a plot twist in your awesome story. And the good news? You still have plenty of options!!!

Life isn’t a straight , uncomplicated line from school to success. Life simply isn’t like that! For many people, it’s more like a winding scenic route with unexpected turns, a few wrong turns, and some surprisingly beautiful views along the way. Take it from me, a woman in her mid forties that has taken more than one wrong turn!

Here are some options to consider so that YOU are in control of this time in your life 🙂

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1. Consider a Retake

If you know you can improve and want another shot, retaking your A-levels is an option.

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2. Change Subjects or Courses, Worked for me!

Sometimes disappointing grades aren’t about effort — they’re about fit. If you struggled in one subject, you will most likely thrive in another.

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3. Explore Alternative Education Routes

The traditional “A-levels → Uni” path is just one option. One that Our son has CHOSEN not to take!

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4. Look at Well-Paid Jobs That Don’t Need High A-Level Grades

Some careers focus on skills, training, or personality rather than academic scores. With the right attitude and work ethic, you can earn well without top grades:

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5. Remember — Grades Don’t Define You

Some of the most successful people didn’t ace their exams. Your grades don’t measure your intelligence, creativity, kindness, or determination. They only measure how you did on a few specific days under certain conditions.

It’s okay to be disappointed — just don’t get stuck there. Think of this as your re-routing moment. You have options, you have time, and you have value far beyond a letter on a piece of paper.

This isn’t the end of your journey — it’s just a different starting point than you expected. What matters most isn’t where you begin, but where you decide to go next.

@awesomearchie_

exam results day… This is not the end. #exams#awesomearchienonprofit #examseason #mentalhealth #reels__tiktok

♬ original sound – Awesome Archie -Autism + PDA +

Archie and I are fortunate to be in regular contact with hundreds of neurodivergent families, multiple schools and thousands of online followers . We aim to answer their many questions and always give OUR honest opinion and advice.

I’m sure by now you know that there is NEVER a one size fits all situation and EVERY autistic person is completely unique. Although there are similarities and its those commonalities that are used for a formal diagnosis, the traits” present very differently in everyone. This why official diagnosis has to be done by very well qualified professionals.

For decades, autism has been widely misunderstood by so many— and it feels like nowhere is this more evident than in the way we so often miss or misinterpret the “signs” in girls. Despite the ever growing awareness, many autistic women and girls still go undiagnosed until adulthood, if at all. And by then, they’ve often spent years struggling, masking, and wondering why things feel harder for them than everyone else. This was me!! I was also diagnosed with HFA when all along my anxiety is a byproduct of my AuDHD.

So why does this happen? And more importantly — what can we do to understand ourselves (or our daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters, pupils) better?

Autism Was Historically Studied in Boys

Much of the early research into autism was based on young boys, meaning that the diagnostic criteria and examples used for years have been “male-presenting” by default. The old fashioned classic signs — like intense interests in trains or lining up toys — don’t always reflect how autism might look in girls even today!

Newer studies are suggesting that girls often present VERY differently. Their autistic “traits” can often be more internal, less “disruptive”, ( sorry for the negative language, I mean no offence) and more emotionally complex. As a result, many professionals simply don’t recognise them or see them as something else.

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Girls Are Often The Masters of Masking – I Mask Every Day!

Many autistic girls (and women) become expert social chameleons. From a young age, we have had to learn to copy others, mimic behaviours, and rehearse “scripts” to get through social situations. I did this all through my adolescence but I didn’t even know I was doing it! It was only as we learned about the boys diagnosis we could see the similarities and struggles .

On the outside, we may seem chatty, friendly, or even popular( I know, big headed!) — but inside, we are so often exhausted, anxious, or confused by the constant effort it takes to “fit in.” This is why I try not to fit in any more and adapt my surroundings to be with mostly neurodivegent people or those with a great understanding.

For little girls this masking can hide their challenges so effectively that even teachers, parents, or doctors may not see the signs. But masking doesn’t mean a person is coping — it often means they’re trying to survive. THIS IS NOT SUSTAINABLE!

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Struggles Are Often Mislabelled

Instead of being identified as autistic, many girls are diagnosed with:

These co-occurring issues may be very real — but they’re often symptoms of undiagnosed autism, not separate diagnosis. Finding the primary diagnosis of AuDHD was what knitted all of my individual challenges to together and has then led for me to have a greater understanding of what I need and why.

Girls might also be labelled as “dramatic,” “moody,” “bossy,” or “shy,” without deeper reflection on what’s underneath those behaviours.

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So What Can We Do to Help Ourselves and Each Other?

If you think that you or someone you love might be autistic, here are steps you can take to move forward with curiosity and compassion:

1. Learn about female autism traits

Start with voices from autistic women and girls. Look for books, blogs, and videos that reflect your experience — not just clinical lists of symptoms.

Some signs to explore:

2. Speak to professionals who understand female and PDA profiles

Not all GPs or specialists are up to date with modern autism understanding — especially when it comes to girls and women. Look for neuro-affirming professionals, or reach out to charities and organisations that specialise in female autism. We recommend The SENDcast as a great start.

3. Connect with community

Whether online or in person, finding others who “get it” can be life-changing. You’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it. Spaces like Instagram, Facebook groups, and neurodivergent-led podcasts can be great places to start.

4. Reflect on your own journey

Diagnosis is helpful for many, but not always necessary. If learning about autism helps you understand and support yourself or your child better — that insight is powerful in itself. You don’t need permission to be kind to your brain.

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Missing the signs of autism in girls doesn’t mean we’ve failed — it means we’re still unlearning old ideas. As awareness grows, more and more girls and women are finally seeing themselves clearly for the first time — and learning that their differences are valid, meaningful, and even beautiful.

Autism isn’t just something to be “spotted” — it’s something to be understood, embraced, and supported.

Because when we stop asking, “Why didn’t I see it sooner?” and start asking, “What do I need now?” — that’s when real acceptance and healing begins.

Disclaimer:
The views and experiences shared here are our own and based on our personal journey as a neurodivergent family. We are not medical or clinical professionals. What works for us may not work for everyone. Always seek professional advice if you’re concerned about your child’s needs or development.

There’s a saying that spins around in my head on the really tough days:
“Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

And if you’re, like us, parenting a child with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), that truth hits harder than most.

PDA isn’t just a list of behaviours or seemingly rude outbursts. It’s a neurodivergent profile driven by a deep, anxiety-based need to remain in control. This can mean explosive meltdowns, avoidance so intense it looks like defiance, and seemingly unpredictable reactions to the most basic of requests — brushing of teeth, putting on socks or even playing a game they themselves asked to play just five minutes earlier.

Ian and I started Our journey with Herbie thinking we could parent the way we were taught in the standard parenting books.

” If you are in control of your child at all times then you are an effective parent”

We tried sticker charts, timers, reasoning, “just one more chance,” and all the classic parenting scripts written in the MANY ” be a good Parent” books.

But here’s the thing:
PDA doesn’t play by the typical parenting rules.

And the harsh truth is…
Nothing changes if nothing changes! You HAVE to stop parenting in the way you believe that OTHERS think that you should and parent the way that YOUR child needs you to!

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You may already know your child has a PDA profile. But knowing it and working with it are two VERY different things.

To see real change — less conflict, more connection and a lot more regulation — we had to stop repeating patterns that simply did’t work. For example, recognising that:

–Demand reduction isn’t giving in.
– Autonomy isn’t permissiveness.
–Collaborative parenting isn’t weakness.

When we started to change how we approached things — from clothing choices to morning routines, homework to how we phrase requests — everything shifted and is continuing to improve every day!

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We had to learn that Herbie having control of MOST of his decisions wasn’t us loosing him, we were getting him back!!!!

This proved to us that when we change our approach, we’re not giving in — we’re building trust. We’re showing him that he is safe, understood, and that we’re a team.

For you that might look like:

Truthfully, for me as a ” bossy” mum by nature it’s not always easy. It’s not instant. But it has changed our family life for the better.

When We Change, They Feel It

The world isn’t always flexible with our kids. But we can be.
We can stop trying to force compliance and instead nurture collaboration.
We can stop repeating what doesn’t work and take the terrifying step into the unfamiliar.

And every time we’ve done this, we have got closer to our AWESOME child hidden far behind the anxiety.

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You’re not failing when things feel hard.
You’re not doing it wrong if it’s messy. Neurodivergent parenting is ALWAYS messy, but for us, it is AWESOME!!! So, If you’re stuck in a cycle that’s not working — for you or for your child — take a breath and remember:

“Nothing changes if nothing changes.“

Start small. One phrase. One routine. One moment of curiosity instead of correction. Because those tiny changes? They matter. They build safety, trust, and connection — the foundation your PDA child desperately needs.

And you don’t have to be perfect — just willing to try something different.

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If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child — perhaps autistic, ADHD, or both — you’ve most likely noticed something beautiful and maybe a bit puzzling:

“They get really, really into things, like they are obsessed” Is a quote from MANY of our parents!

We’re talking obsessed-level focus. Dinosaurs. Minecraft. Trains. Space. Slime. Maps. Washing machines. Ancient Egypt. Pokemon. Spinning things. Insects.One TV show — on repeat for months.

And maybe, at first, you may wonder… or even worry:

These are completely valid questions — but what if we flipped the script?

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What You’re Seeing Isn’t Just “Fixation” — It’s Monotropism and that’s AWESOME!

Monotropism is a theory that helps explain how many neurodivergent minds work. It means the brain tends to focus deeply on one thing at a time, rather than spreading attention across many things at once.

For many autistic and ADHD children, this isn’t just a preference — it’s how their brain is wired. Deep, focused interest in a specific topic helps them to feel safe, energised, and in control of their world. It’s precisely why I do what I do here at Awesome Archie. This is my monotropic interest and it’s heavenly for me!

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Why It’s Not Just “Obsessing” — It’s a strength!!!

We often hear words like fixated, stuck, or too much when talking about neurodivergent interests.

But , that intense love for a topic isn’t something to be “cured” or “managed.”
It can be a source of joy, connection, learning — and eventually, even career success.

Some of the world’s most creative, technical, and visionary thinkers have built lives around their so called “obsessions.”

Scientists who were obsessed with bugs as kids. Artists who spent hours hyper-focused on colour mixing. Programmers who memorised code at age 8.

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For a neurodivergent child, a special interest can:

It’s not about avoiding the world — it’s about finding a way into it.

So what can you do as a parent?

Instead of worrying about their deep interest, try:
✅ Joining in — ask them to teach you something
✅ Using it to build skills (writing, reading, drawing, researching)
✅ Finding community — clubs, forums, online groups
✅ Celebrating it — “I love how passionate you are about this!”

And if the interest does shift over time? That’s okay too. The pattern of deep diving into something still stays — and that’s where the magic is.

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Your child’s focused passion isn’t something to fix — it’s something to understand, support, and even admire. Monotropism doesn’t limit potential — it fuels it. It can be a treasure!

So next time your child wants to tell you every single fact about the Titanic, or the plot of a show you’ve already heard 100 times, take a breath and smile.

Because this might just be the beginning of something brilliant.

Navigating a child’s neurodivergent journey can be beautiful, challenging, and deeply emotional — especially when you and your partner aren’t on the same page. It’s important to say that Ian, my husband, has always been very open minded and trusting that I, as the full time parent, knew the kids. However, the support we put in place for the kids hasn’t always been agreed by us both. It’s important for us to share how we have navigated this and how we are fully on the same page now. It’s a marathon not a sprint people!

If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child (Autistic, ADHD, or otherwise) and your partner is struggling to accept or acknowledge the challenges your child faces, you are not alone. One of the most common (and frustrating) things parents hear in this situation is:

“Well, I do that too — it’s normal.”

It’s usually said so casually. Maybe defensively. Maybe with love. But it can feel dismissive — not just of your child’s experiences, but of yours too. This can cause real friction within your relationship as you can feel invalided.

So, how do you lovingly but firmly help your partner come to terms with your child’s neurodivergence? Well, here is what has worked for us when talking to family members, friends and colleagues. we hope it helps you too 🙂

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Start with Compassion and not with Conflict

Your partner is probably really scared. For many people, recognising neurodivergence in their child means grieving the expectations they didn’t even know they had. It can stir up old wounds and force unpleasant memories — especially if they see parts of themselves in your child.

You could always say…
“I know this is a lot to take in. I feel it too. But we can’t support our child properly unless we’re honest about what they need.”

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Validate Their Feelings and then Redirect

It’s okay to say:

“Yes, lots of people forget things or get overwhelmed. But what we’re seeing in our child is more intense, more frequent, and it’s affecting their daily life. That’s when it goes beyond what some may call “typical’”

Normalize the difference, not just the similarity.

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If you can, use Real-Life Examples Without Blame

Sometimes, partners need concrete moments to connect the dots.

“When we were at the birthday party and he hid under the table for 30 minutes — that wasn’t just being shy. That was sensory overload. And he needs support for that, not to be told off.”

Stick to observations, not labels. Let the reality speak louder than the potential diagnosis (at first).

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Offer Information Gently, Not as a Weapon

Throwing a stack of articles or diagnostic criteria at someone in denial rarely works. Instead, try offering one relatable video, a short article, or even a TikTok from a neurodivergent adult.

“I found this video helpful — it’s from someone who was diagnosed late and talks about how it affected their childhood. It really helped.”

Invite curiosity, don’t demand agreement.

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Be Clear About What Your Child Needs — and Why It Matters Now

Your child is growing. Early understanding = better support = healthier development.

“Whether we label it or not, our child is struggling. They need us to understand them before the world tries to misunderstand them.”

Frame it as proactive love, not some neuroscience lesson.

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Point to Progress, Not Perfection

Remind your partner this isn’t about “fixing” your child , THEY ARE NOT BROKEN!— it’s about understanding them so they can thrive.

“Neurodivergence isn’t a problem. Ignoring it can be.”

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Set Boundaries Where Needed

If your partner is repeatedly invalidating, mocking, or refusing to support necessary accommodations (like therapy, sensory tools, or school meetings), it’s okay to draw a line:

“This is not up for debate anymore. Our child’s needs are real, and I’m going to advocate for them — with or without your agreement.”

It doesn’t mean you stop inviting them in. But your child’s wellbeing comes first.

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Believe us when we say we know that it’s hard — emotionally, mentally, and relationally — when the person who should be your teammate is struggling to see what you see. But change doesn’t always happen overnight.

For more hints and tips, subscribe to our you tube channel 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/@awesomearchieautismsupport

The Zones of Regulation is a widely used framework designed to help children (and adults) better understand and manage their emotions, energy levels, and self-regulation. It’s especially helpful for neurodivergent children, including those with Autism, ADHD, and sensory processing differences.

We at Awesome Archie have created some FREE resources to support you. Simply watch the youtube vid linked below and screen grab or download and print the images for your school or home.

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The 4 Zones of Regulation:

Each zone is represented by a color and associated with different emotional and physical states.

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🔵 Blue Zone – Low State of Alert

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🟢 Green Zone – Just Right

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🟡 Yellow Zone – Heightened State

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🔴 Red Zone – Extremely Dysregulated

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🧠 Key Things to Remember:

This week marked a truly special moment in our family’s story — Daisy’s primary school leavers service and walk through the hockey sticks. It has been the kind of week that makes your heart swell and your eyes prickle, full of celebration, reflection, and so much love.

Watching Daisy walk into The Priory church — in her smart uniform, hair neatly plaited , eyes sparkling with excitement — I could hardly believe that we were here already. It feels like just yesterday she was clinging to my hand at the gates of Reception, her backpack WAY too big for her little shoulders. And now, here she is: standing tall, confident, kind, funny, and more ready than ever to take on her next adventure.

The leavers service was beautiful. Full of songs, readings and moments that will stay with us forever. Daisy beamed through it all, singing her heart out, exchanging hugs with her friends, and grinning with pride as she accepted her leavers bible. I could see how loved she is — by her friends, her teachers, and everyone who’s watched her grow these past seven years.

Her last school day began with a boat ride before school and ended with a proud and tearful walk through the hockey stick tunnel and a dip in the splash park wit the whole class!

It’s impossible not to feel a touch emotional — this is the end of an era. But more than anything, it was a celebration of all she’s achieved. Of the friendships she’s made. Of the bravery she’s shown. And of the incredible young person she’s becoming.

As September approaches, we’re feeling hopeful, happy, and deeply grateful. Hopeful for all the exciting things ahead — new teachers, new challenges, new friends to meet. Happy to see Daisy so ready and eager to spread her wings. And grateful to the amazing school community and teachers like Mr Swain and Miss Field that have nurtured her, cheered her on, and helped shape her into the bright star she is.

So here’s to Daisy, and to all the children taking their next big step. You’re more ready than you know. Secondary school, here she comes — full of joy, full of courage, and full of awesome promise.

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This week marked the end of a truly special chapter in Awesome Archie’s journey — one filled with personal growth, love, and transformation. As he leaves his current specialist school, we find ourselves filled with so many emotions: gratitude, sadness, pride, and hope.

From the moment Archie joined the Link (a specialist hub set in the grounds of broadstone middle school and run by the Winchelsea group) we knew he was in the right place.

This wasn’t just a school. It was a sanctuary. A place where qualifications were important, yes — but never the sole focus. This was a space built on understanding, patience, and purpose. A place that recognised potential not just in grades, but in smiles, in small steps, in confidence gained and challenges overcome.

Over the years, Archie has been nurtured in ways that go far beyond academics. He has learned life skills that will serve him for years to come — how to communicate, how to cope, how to believe in himself.

One of the things Archie loved most was his specialist class — a small, nurturing group where he felt seen, safe, and respected. They just understood him. They were patient with his needs, they listened to his opinions, and they never asked him to be anything other than himself. That kind of acceptance is rare, and it made all the difference..

He’s been surrounded by staff who truly saw him, celebrated him, and helped him to flourish. To all of those staff members, we say thanks. You have been INCREDIBLE from start to finish!

There were days of laughter and days of challenge, but every single moment added something to the wonderful young person he is becoming. To say we’re grateful feels like an understatement. We are forever grateful — for the kindness, the consistency, the creativity, and the unwavering support that your school community has offered our family.

And now, as Archie prepares to step into a new chapter, we carry all those memories and milestones with us. We are so sad to say goodbye to a place that has meant so much for so long — it’s emotional, to say the least. But we are also so proud of how far Archie has come, and so hopeful for what’s to come next.

To everyone who has played a part in this journey: thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.

Here’s to new beginnings — and to never forgetting the path that got us here.

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This week, the halls of William Gilpin school were bursting with colour, creativity, and community spirit as we were lucky enough to host a week-long Arts Week – all in support of the BEACH Appeal. This awesome event brought students, staff, and families together to celebrate artistic expression while raising much-needed funds for a vital cause.

From the very first day, excitement ( and paint) flowed through the classrooms. With Awesome Archie leading the charge, each day was packed with themed art activities tailored for every age group and ability. The kids enthusiastically explored everything from painting, sculpture, and charcoal sketching. They were AWESOME!

The sessions were filled with laughter, paint-splattered desks, dripping clay and moments of pure inspiration. Art is so much more than just drawing, it’s how we express who we are and how we can make a difference!

Fundraising with Heart 💛

The Arts Week wasn’t just about fun and creativity – it was a heartfelt mission to support the BEACH Appeal, a fundraising campaign aimed at enhancing children’s healthcare experiences. Through art sales, the school community rallied together to raise awareness and support.

The Grand Finale: A Dazzling Art Exhibition 🖼️

This truly AWESOME week culminated in a breathtaking Art Exhibition, where the school hall was transformed into a gallery . Every child had a piece of art on display, and the sheer diversity of ideas and talent was staggering. The parents then had the opportunity to collect the art in exchange for a small donation 🙂

From finger-painted plasters to intricate charcoal sketches, the artworks reflected not just skill, but emotion and meaning. We managed to raise around £250!! THANKYOU!!!

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Arts Week was more than just a school event – it was a reminder of the power of creativity to bring people together and to shine a light on important causes. HUGE thanks to William Gilpin school and the incredible efforts of students, staff, and families, the school not only nurtured young artists but also made a meaningful impact on the BEACH Appeal.

Here’s to art with heart – and to Archie, our awesome hero, for making it all happen.

@awesomearchie_

Arts week 2025- educating and fundraising on behalf of the BEACH appeal #fypageシ #adhd #autism #awesomearchie #awesomearchienonprofit #summer #beach #fundraiser #art #teachersoftiktok @UHDcharity

♬ original sound – 𝕃𝕪𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕤 – 𝕃𝕪𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕤

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This last week has been nothing short of incredible, filled with massive milestones, long awaited achievements, and heartwarming moments that have left us feeling both grateful and hopeful for the future. The last 6 months have not been plain sailing by any stretch but we are finishing the final push of the summer term on a real high and let me tell you, we are ready for a break!

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A Transformative Visit to the Autism & ADHD Show

Last weekend we had the privilege of attending the Autism & ADHD Show in London, and what an experience it was! Archie and I are not able to host an exhibition yet, as much as I would LOVE to, its way too much for Archie. Instead, we talk to exhibitors, listen to industry expert speakers and create content that will hopefully support our awesome families. The event was a treasure trove of information, support, and inspiration for families like ours. We explored innovative tools, therapies, and resources that promise to make a difference in the lives of neurodivergent individuals. This is definitely my happy place 🙂

The highlight for us was connecting with experts and fellow parents who truly understand the challenges and triumphs of raising a child with unique needs. Their insights were invaluable, and we left the event with renewed energy and ideas to support Archie and Herbie on their journey. Massive thanks to Dr Naomi Fisher who has armed us with an immense amount of support knowledge in the wonderful world of demand avoidance. We will be blogging a lot about this over the summer hols so do follow along.

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@awesomearchie_

Autism and ADHD show. We got to check out the senso cube 😍@Creative Activity #london #parents #teachers #advocate #parentsontiktok #neurodivergent #autism #mentalhealth #fy #fyp #pda Thanks so much to Dean for taking the time to talk to us.

♬ Soft, slow, cinematic background.(1302336) – Art Music Style

Winning our Appeal: A Victory for Archie.

One of the most challenging aspects of our family and educational journey has been fighting for Archie’s education and ensuring his needs are met. This is genuinely a full time job and so often you feel like you are going unheard. We know that most parents with neurodivergent children will have already, or will in the future, experience this. NOTHING is given on a platter and you have to advocate and push to know that your child is receiving the correct level of support for them. Happily after almost 7 months of persistence and determination, we are thrilled to share that we won our appeal!

This victory means that Archie has been accepted into a new school that is tailored to his needs, where he’ll receive the specialized support and nurturing environment he truly deserves. Knowing that he’ll have the tools and guidance to thrive has lifted an enormous weight off our shoulders. We can, for a little while at least…rest!

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None of this would have been possible without the incredible support system we’ve had throughout this process. To every friend, family member, professional, and organization that stood by us: thank you from the bottom of our hearts. WE DID IT!!!!

Your encouragement gave us the strength to keep pushing forward, even when the path seemed uncertain. From attending endless legal meetings and writing letters to simply lending an ear when we needed it most, your kindess has made a lasting impact on our family.

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As we celebrate these milestones, we’re also looking to the future with optimism. The Autism & ADHD Show gave us new tools and strategies, and Archie’s new school marks the start of a brighter chapter.

We hope our journey inspires others to never give up, to seek out the right resources, and to lean on their community for support. Together, we can create a world where every child has the opportunity to shine.

Thank you for being part of our story. Here’s to the next chapter in Archie’s journey!

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Lastly, Our Awesome Handbook

“The Awesome Handbook” is our latest book created as resource to help support neurodivergent families—especially those navigating PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), autism, and ADHD.

It is a deliberately “back to basics” overview for school staff and parents who are at the start of their learning journey or need a refresher. We have taken a lot of time to ensure that the fundamentals, basics and commonalities found in the DSM-5 criteria is adressed

( so many have no idea what that is….why would you unless you need to?)

In essence, the Awesome Handbook is not a conventional handbook you’d buy, but rather:

If you’re interested in getting involved, learning more, or supporting our work, the site and social accounts (Instagram @awesome_archie_official, etc.) are great places to start and if you would like to purchase this book click here ⬇

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/365697725527