Ian and I have never made a secret of the fact that being parent carers is tough at times. Don’t get us wrong, we ADORE our children and know how lucky we are to have them, but it’s not easy.

Firstly, the whole “18 summers” thing is not our reality. Archie will need our full care for his whole life and that can occasionally terrify us (although we also love that he’ll never leave home 😉 ). Occasionally, people will say things like “you dont know that” to which we reply “we do!”. That’s because we have fully accepted. We have traveled through all the emotional phases of acceptance, denial being the first one for us and we now see our role. A role that we are truthfully proud to play! However, we do still need the odd “Beckie and Ian time” and last weekend was just that.

This weekend, Ian and I slipped away for a much-needed break in London: a blend of work, fun, and proper “us” time. We headed into the city for the tes SEND Show (and yes – we balanced the “educational/professional” bit with the “have fun as a couple” bit).

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The tes SEND show 2025 – In LBDC

The tes SEND Show is one of the UK’s leading events for special educational needs and disability (SEND) — bringing together educators, parents, carers, practitioners, and suppliers to connect, learn and explore inclusive practice. It is my work version of Disneyland… I LOVE IT!!

It was held at the Business Design Centre in London and offered a rich programme: CPD-certified seminars, a “Parent, Carer & Teacher Forum”, and over 150 exhibitors showcasing resources, technologies and services aimed at supporting children & young people with SEN.

For us, it was the perfect mix of being professionally curious and personally connected: we wandered the exhibitor stands, chatted with folks and grabbed ideas. We caught up with friends we have made over the years of attendance, like the brilliant Dale Pickles, made new connections but left enough enegry for us to just be us!

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London – Just Us

After the show, we carved out some proper couple time. Now dont worry, we havent gone all mushy 😉 We had a lovely stroll, did some sightseeing and a little bit of indulgence — and it felt so good to shift from carer mode into “Ian & Beckie” mode. It was nice to remeber all the fun things I like about my husband, it’s sometimes all too easy to forget when you are both run off your feet in the day to day!

It was a reminder that these rare breaks really matter. Because, being a parent carer is wonderful, but it’s also constant… and having a moment where we don’t have to think primarily about caring, logistics, managing things for someone else — really gives you a reset.

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When you’re a carer (especially a parent carer) you’re always “on”. You’re endlessly managing the needs of someone else, balancing work, support, home life, and more. It’s meaningful work, wonderful work— but exhausting, and the value of stepping away is huge.

It gives perspective: you realise that you are allowed to be Ian & Beckie too — not just “carer” or “parent”. It restores energy. Even a short break can fill your emotional tank, help you reconnect, laugh, recharge. It strengthens your relationship time together, just for you two, reminds you of what you share beyond the caring role. It improves your well-being, for both of you. That bit of “normal life” helps you show up better in your carer/parent role too.

And yes — we came back refreshed, motivated, and glad we made the time.

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So if you’re reading this and you’re thinking “we should take a break” — do it. Even if you’re deeply involved in caring, even if it feels “impossible right now” — the benefits are real. Taking time for you doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your caring role. It means you’re sustaining it.

And if you ever get an invite or chance to attend the tes SEND Show (or something similar) — go. Combine purpose with pleasure. Learn, explore, and then let yourself off the hook to just be.

Here’s to next years weekend escape, Ian & Beckie-style.

For the past five years, I’ve poured my heart into running a non-profit that proudly supports autistic individuals and their families. That work — the community we’ve built, the voices we’ve uplifted, and the awareness we’ve raised — will always be part a huge of me. It’s so much more than a project; it’s Archie’s legacy.

But as anyone who walks this path knows, growth often comes with new directions. And now, it feels like the right time to take a deep breath, trust what I’ve learned, and branch out into something new.

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Introducing NeuroCreative Media.

After 17 years of continuous learning, creating, and advocating, I’m so proud (and slightly terrified!) to launch my new venture: NeuroCreative Media. For details, day rates and services info check out our brand new website by clicking the link below.

https://www.neurocreativemedia.co.uk/

This new and exiting chapter brings together everything I’ve come to love — consultation, advocacy, and digital creation — all grounded in my neuroaffirming ethos. My mission is to collaborate with big hitting charities, schools, companies, and individuals whose values align with ours: inclusion, understanding, and respect for all kinds of minds.

Whether it’s through digital storytelling, awareness campaigns, training, or creative projects, NeuroCreative Media is here to help share the message that our brains — in all their remarkable diversity — deserve to be celebrated.

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A New Purpose

For me personally, this is a big step. It’s scary to move into something new, but it’s also deeply exciting. Over the years, I’ve gained so many skills — from public speaking and advocacy to creative design, digital media, and connecting with communities.

Its finally MY time to grow and to achieve my own personal goals. Goals that as many parent/ carers will testify , have had to be placed on the back burner for almost two decades!

Now I get to use all of my life experiences and education in a new way — to help others tell their stories, raise awareness, and create real, lasting change.

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Neurodivergence and mental health isn’t just a topic for me — it’s my whole life. It’s my family, my community, and my own identity. With every project, I bring not only professional experience and training, but also lived experience and a genuine passion for representation that feels real.

Because when we talk about autism, ADHD, and mental health, we’re not just talking about challenges — we’re talking about creativity, resilience, brilliance and connection.

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Starting something new for me is always a mix of nerves and excitement, but I know this next step will open doors to even more meaningful work assisting in real change from the top!

NeuroCreative Media is built on the same foundation that’s guided me from the start: compassion, authenticity, and a belief in the power of storytelling to make the world a more inclusive place.

Here’s to the next chapter — to new collaborations, creative projects, and continuing to celebrate the incredible diversity of the human brain.

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🖋️ Written by Rebecca Clapcott — Writer, Digital Creator & Neurodivergent Advocate
Owner of NeuroCreative Media.

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Now before you panic, we want to reassure you, it is NEVER too late to make positive changes. If you are worried that the childhood period has passed so you cant support, you can take a breath. This is simply the ideal from my own lived experience.

We know that across the world, autistic adults (like me) are experiencing high levels of mental health struggles—often linked not to neurotype itself, but to how the wider society has misunderstood and treated them. Anxiety, depression, burnout, and isolation are super common outcomes for people who grow up feeling unseen, misunderstood, or pressured to “mask” who they are. If we want to change the ending to this really sad story, the solution has to begin much earlier: in schools.

It seems as though the children who are supported, educated, and advocated for in their early years are more likely to grow into self-assured, self-aware adults. Assured adults are not accidental—they are nurtured by environments that recognise their value, listen to their voices, and affirm their differences.

For us as an organisation, we feel that for many autistic children, the experience of being “seen” is transformative. When educators, peers, and families take the time to understand their individual needs and perspectives, they learn that their feelings matter. Validation gives them the courage to express themselves and the resilience to navigate those daily challenges. On the other hand, being ignored or dismissed can plant seeds of self-doubt that can follow them into adulthood.

Archie and I truly believe that a child who feels safe sharing their emotions in school is more likely to grow into an adult who can regulate, reflect, and advocate for their mental wellbeing in adulthood.

So what can schools do NOW?

Schools are uniquely placed to prevent future mental health struggles among autistic adults. What a gift that is! Schools can:

These steps won’t just create a more inclusive classroom; they can create lifelong protective factors against poor mental health in adulthood. That is LIFECHANGING!

Why WE Encourage Advocacy Beyond the Classroom.

Support also means advocating for children within systems—whether it’s securing the right educational support, ensuring their voices are heard in decisions, or challenging stigma in our wider society. When kids grow up with champions in their corner, they are more likely to internalize the belief that they deserve respect and care. We at Awesome Archie want to champion YOU!

From “Seen” Children to Thriving, Mental Health Aware Adults

For us it seems that assured and self-aware autistic adults will come from autistic children whose feelings were heard, whose differences were honored, and whose identities were celebrated. Schools and parents have the power to reduce the number of autistic adults struggling with their mental health—not by “fixing” them, but by building environments where they are safe to be wholesomely themselves.

The path to healthier autistic adulthood is clear: support, education, and advocacy today creates resilience, confidence, and self-acceptance tomorrow.

Lifelong change begins by truly seeing the child that is right in front of us now!

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1285508632894880

There’s a lot of noise out there about what “causes” autism. You’ve probably seen headlines linking it to medicines, diet, or even parenting styles. Let’s clear this up right away: autism is not caused by taking paracetamol, eating the wrong snack, or any other tripe you may hear in the media right now. Autism “happens” because two people come together, pass on their genetics, and create a wonderfully unique new human being. It’s hereditary, woven into the beautiful blueprint of who you are. Even if you didnt realise that these genes are in your family….THEY ARE IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!

Your brain doesn’t suddenly “become” autistic because of something you did or didn’t do. You are born the way you are meant to be — autistic brains are just wired uniquely. And that uniqueness is natural, valid, and SO worth celebrating.

Here’s the thing: autism is not a disease. It’s not an illness to be afraid of, or something that needs to be “cured.” It’s a neurotype — simply another way for a brain to experience and interact with the world. Some brains thrive on routine, some see patterns others miss, some dive deep into passions with incredible focus. These differences add such a richness and diversity to humanity.

So instead of worrying about what “caused” autism, let’s focus on what makes life better for autistic people: understanding, acceptance, and compassion. The real medicine isn’t found in a pill — it’s in creating environments where autistic people can be themselves, feel safe, and be celebrated for who they are.

Because at the end of the day, every autistic person is exactly as they were always meant to be: beautifully and uniquely made. 💙

Every so often, I scroll through the news or social media and see conversations about “fixing” autism, about “curing” it, or about how it’s some kind of problem to be solved. And every time, I feel that horendous ache — because this couldn’t be further from the truth. Today was so hard for me personally with all that is in the news .

Let’s say it clearly: autism is not an illness. Autistic people ARE NOT BROKEN! There is no cure, because there doesn’t need to be one. Autism is a neurotype — a different way of thinking, of processing the world, of communicating and socialising. The autistic brain is not wrong or faulty; it’s simply wired uniquely.

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Being autistic means experiencing the world through a unique lens. Yes, there are huge challenges — navigating a world built for neurotypical people is really exhausting. Sensory overloads, social misunderstandings, or the endless need to “mask” can make life tough. We live life like this every day! But those challenges don’t mean autism itself is wrong.

It just means society hasn’t quite caught up yet in terms of accessibility, understanding, and acceptance.

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Our Awesome unique Autistic strengths as a neurodivergent family.

In our family, autism brings so many blessings. Here are just a few:

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Stop Trying to “Fix” What Isn’t Broken

The idea of “curing” autism or ” fixing autistic people”suggests something is wrong, when in fact, autistic people are whole, complete, and valuable exactly as they are. What needs changing is not autistic people, but the barriers, stigma, and lack of understanding they face.

We don’t need to “fix” autistic people — we need to fix the systems that exclude them, the attitudes that shame them, and the myths that misrepresent them.

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Being a neurodivergent family isn’t always easy. There are hard days, yes. But there are also moments of pure magic: the pride of watching our children thrive when they’re accepted, the joy of learning from their perspectives, and the deep sense of community we’ve found by connecting with other families like ours.

Autism is woven into the very fabric of who we are as a family — and we wouldn’t change that for the world.

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If you take one thing from this blog, let it be this: autism is not something to be feared, pitied, or cured. It’s a different way of being human. A valid, valuable, and beautiful way.

So let’s stop trying to fix what isn’t broken — and instead start celebrating the gifts, strengths, and unique voices that autism brings to our world.

At Awesome Archie, everything we do is built on kindness, community, and a shared belief that every autistic/ neurodivergent child deserves to feel understood, supported, and celebrated.

Over the last 5 years, we’ve been able to provide so many families and schools with free resources – from activity packs to helpful guides – all designed to make life a little easier and a lot more joyful. We also now run Awesome Archie’s Connection Club, giving children a safe and welcoming space to connect with others, and we deliver free teacher training, helping schools to create truly neuro-affirming classrooms.

But here’s the truth – none of this would be possible without the generosity of people like you. 💙

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🙏 Why We’ve Launched Our GoFundMe

Running Awesome Archie takes time, energy, and resources. From printing materials, to creating new packs, to funding our Connection Club sessions, it all adds up. We want to keep these things free for families and schools, because we know how much of a difference that makes.

That’s why we’ve launched a GoFundMe page – to give our community a chance to support us in continuing this important work.

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💌 Why Donate?

When you donate, you’re not just giving money – you’re giving:
✨ A child the chance to feel proud of who they are.
✨ A teacher the tools to better understand their students.
✨ A family the relief of knowing they’re not alone.

Every single pound goes directly into keeping resources free, running groups, and expanding the support we can offer.

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🌈 How to Donate

It couldn’t be simpler:

1. Head over to our GoFundMe page 👉 https://gofund.me/c9480e86b
2. Choose the amount you’d like to give – big or small, every donation makes a difference.
3. Share our link with friends, family, or colleagues who care about creating a more inclusive world.

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💙 Thank You

We are endlessly grateful for the kindness shown by our community. Together, we’re building something really special – a world where ALL CHILDREN feel accepted, valued, and celebrated exactly as they are.

Thank you for being part of our journey.

👉 https://gofund.me/c9480e86b

With love and gratitude,
The Awesome Archie Team 💙✨

What a busy but brilliant week it’s been! Archie and I had the incredible honour of being invited onto BBC Radio Solent, where we were interviewed by the brilliant Alun Newman. It was such a pleasure to be able to share our thoughts about the “Make a Difference Awards” – an initiative that shines a light on everyday heroes who are making their communities stronger, kinder, and more connected.

Earlier in the year, Archie and I were lucky enough to serve as round one judges for the awards. Reading through the nominations was both humbling and uplifting – every single story showed the power of compassion, resilience, and community spirit. I then met up with fellow judges at the BBC solent studios to whittle them down to the final 4. Not an easy task I can tell you!

This week, it all came together at the glitzy awards ceremony held at Fratton Park Portsmouth Football Ground. The event was nothing short of magical. We were surrounded by people whose actions, big and small, are truly transforming lives. One highlight was meeting Aaron Phipps, Paralympian and inspirational speaker, whose story left us deeply moved. He even recorded a personalised message for my students 🙂 THANKS ARRON 🙂

The atmosphere in the room was electric – full of joy, gratitude, and a sense of shared purpose. It reminded us that no matter how small an act of kindness might seem, it can ripple out in ways we may never imagine.

We left the awards feeling grateful, humbled, and deeply appreciative. To have played a small part in recognising such extraordinary individuals is a privilege we won’t forget.

A huge thank you to the BBC, Alun Newman, Helen Head and everyone involved in the Make a Difference Awards. You’ve given us memories we’ll treasure – and more importantly, you’ve given recognition to people who truly deserve it.

@awesomearchie_

Humbled, grateful,proud. What an honour to be a round one judge for this year’s “make a difference” awards And to chat to the legend. Aaron Phipps @BBC @Aaron Phipps – Paralympian #community #celebrate #radiosolent #awesomearchie #awards

♬ Higher Love – Ben Fox

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Awesome Archie’s Connection Club Launches at The Priory School 🎉

This week also saw the very first session of Awesome Archie’s Connection Club at The Priory School – and what a fantastic start it was!

The club has been created by Archie and I as a space where children can come together at lunchtime to connect, have fun, and explore their creativity. Whether it’s making new friends, sharing ideas, or just enjoying a safe and welcoming environment, the focus is all about building positive connections. The playground isn’t ideal for everyone and Archie sadly remembers that all too well, so, we have created this initiative to ensure that ALL children have the chance to make positive lunchtime memories.

Our first session went brilliantly. The children jumped straight in, showing such energy, imagination, and kindness towards one another. It was so inspiring to see how quickly they embraced the idea – laughing together, sharing stories, and letting their creativity shine.

We’re already buzzing with ideas for future sessions, and we can’t wait to see how the club continues to grow week by week. The aim is simple but powerful: to give every child the chance to feel included, valued, and part of something special.

A huge well done to The team at the Priory for supporting us with this wonderful initiative. Thankyou for giving us this opportunity 🙂 The smiles on the children’s faces said it all – and we’re so excited to be back again next week for round two!

Meet Wonderdog Winnie 🐾

We’re so excited to introduce you to the newest (and furriest) member of our family/ team – Wonderdog Winnie, our brand-new Shih Tzu puppy!

Winnie has only been with us a short while, but she’s already bringing so much joy. Training is going well so far – she’s picking up the basics quickly, and we’re making steady progress with eating and sleeping routines too. Today was a special milestone: Winnie had her very first walk on the lead! She trotted along like a little superstar, curious about the world around her.

But Winnie isn’t just here to be adorable (though she has that covered!). She has an important role ahead of her. Once she’s mastered all the basic commands, Winnie will begin her journey to become a therapy dog. The plan is for her to be Archie’s emotional support dog, giving comfort and companionship, while also joining us in schools to inspire and connect with children.

We know she’s going to make a huge difference with her gentle nature, waggy tail, and loving personality. Watching her grow, learn, and step into this special role is something we’re really looking forward to.

For now, though, we’re just enjoying the puppy cuddles, the funny zoomies, and the many little adventures that come with having a new four-legged friend. Wonderdog Winnie – the journey begins! 🐶✨

When it comes to planning a holiday that meets ALL of our individual needs as a family its either Disneyland , a Cruise or Center Parcs that feel like a safe bet for us. But, we have NEVER been brave enough to face two whole weeks away. The medical prep, clothes washing and length of time from OUR familiar has always put me off. I can now happily say…. I had nothing to worry about!

The kids Grandma ( Ians mum) generously treated us, Ians sister and her daughter to a wonderful two week Mediterranean cruise for we are ENORMOUSLY grateful . Although you wont see them alot in our public content ( they don’t fancy being TikTok famous just yet;) ) We shared a wonderful two weeks as a family of 9 and it is a memory that we will share forever with utter joy! Getting to spend so much time with our beautiful niece and seeing our children care for her was breathtaking. The games nights, the food and the laughs were truly AWESOME!

As always, we like to share our experiences and the things we learned to help you on your next neurodivergent family journey so… here’s what we learned and why we at Awesome Archie non profit HIGHLY recommend Arvia for your family!

The Arvia is the newest Excel-class ship and takes family fun to the next level — blending sun-soaked adventure with child-focused brilliance. For me that is key , happy kids means a happy me!

Whether you’ve got little explorers, screen-loving tweens, or sensory-seeking neurodivergent children, Arvia makes it easier to say “yes” to a holiday where everyone actually gets to relax.

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Kids’ Clubs That Actually Understand Kids

P&O’s Reef clubs are broken down by age, and they are free of charge:

These are so more than just babysitting services. The staff are friendly, energetic, and trained to engage children through fun, inclusive activities like arts and crafts, games, themed nights, and movie sessions. For children who need more structure or sensory-friendly environments, the team is usually happy to accommodate if you speak with them in advance. My neice Mollie went into surfers kids club every day and absolutely LOVED it!

Top tip: Let them know if your child is neurodivergent or needs adjustments — many parents report a thoughtful and flexible response!

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Altitude Adventure Zone – Ropes, Golf & Laser Tag!

Arvia brings action-packed outdoor fun to the seas with:

It’s perfect for burning off energy while sailing through the sunshine.

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Onboard Cinema & Shows Made for All Ages

Arvia’s Ocean Studios cinema plays a mix of new releases and family-friendly favorites in a quiet, comfortable environment — great for downtime. And the Headliners Theater puts on West-End style shows and performances that are often suitable (and exciting!) for older children and teens. HANDS DOWN our favorite shows were those given by The Animal Guyz. I am going to write a blog dedicated to them and the work that they do as it deserves more than just a para on here! Keep your eyes peeled for that soon.

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Food Freedom – Archie and Herbie had so much choice!

From The Quays (a casual dining area with a mix of global street food) to pizza and pasta favourites, there’s something for every palate — including picky ones.

You’ll find:

Some venues like The Beach House are super relaxed and family-friendly, so no worries if you’ve got noisy little ones of kids that struggle to whisper like Arch.

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Cabin Comfort & Safe Spaces

Cabins are thoughtfully laid out with:

When we needed a moment away from the crowds we just headed back to your cabin for a cool-down and a reset. We brought comfort items from home (teddies, fidgets, blankets) to make it feel familiar and we soon settled in.

We had a room with a small covered balcony which meant that even in our wind down time, I could sit and hear the ocean and feel the sun while the boys chilled on their tablet or played chess. AWESOME!

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Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Families

While Arvia isn’t exclusively set up for neurodivergent children, many families have found it easier than expected to navigate with the right preparation:

Bonus idea: Bring noise-cancelling headphones, familiar snacks, and visuals/schedules to help with transitions.

For us, Arvia isn’t just a ship — it’s a floating holiday village packed with imagination, activity, and opportunities to connect as a family. Whether your child wants to climb, splash, chill, or create, there’s something for every energy level and every personality.

It’s not always easy to find a holiday that meets the needs of every member of the family, but P&O’s Arvia comes impressively close — and for that, we’re THRILLED!

See you again next summer Arvia!!

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If you’re currently staring at your results and feeling like the ground has just opened up beneath you, take a breath. Results day can feel like the end of the world, but it’s really not — it’s just a plot twist in your awesome story. And the good news? You still have plenty of options!!!

Life isn’t a straight , uncomplicated line from school to success. Life simply isn’t like that! For many people, it’s more like a winding scenic route with unexpected turns, a few wrong turns, and some surprisingly beautiful views along the way. Take it from me, a woman in her mid forties that has taken more than one wrong turn!

Here are some options to consider so that YOU are in control of this time in your life 🙂

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1. Consider a Retake

If you know you can improve and want another shot, retaking your A-levels is an option.

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2. Change Subjects or Courses, Worked for me!

Sometimes disappointing grades aren’t about effort — they’re about fit. If you struggled in one subject, you will most likely thrive in another.

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3. Explore Alternative Education Routes

The traditional “A-levels → Uni” path is just one option. One that Our son has CHOSEN not to take!

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4. Look at Well-Paid Jobs That Don’t Need High A-Level Grades

Some careers focus on skills, training, or personality rather than academic scores. With the right attitude and work ethic, you can earn well without top grades:

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5. Remember — Grades Don’t Define You

Some of the most successful people didn’t ace their exams. Your grades don’t measure your intelligence, creativity, kindness, or determination. They only measure how you did on a few specific days under certain conditions.

It’s okay to be disappointed — just don’t get stuck there. Think of this as your re-routing moment. You have options, you have time, and you have value far beyond a letter on a piece of paper.

This isn’t the end of your journey — it’s just a different starting point than you expected. What matters most isn’t where you begin, but where you decide to go next.

@awesomearchie_

exam results day… This is not the end. #exams#awesomearchienonprofit #examseason #mentalhealth #reels__tiktok

♬ original sound – Awesome Archie -Autism + PDA +

Archie and I are fortunate to be in regular contact with hundreds of neurodivergent families, multiple schools and thousands of online followers . We aim to answer their many questions and always give OUR honest opinion and advice.

I’m sure by now you know that there is NEVER a one size fits all situation and EVERY autistic person is completely unique. Although there are similarities and its those commonalities that are used for a formal diagnosis, the traits” present very differently in everyone. This why official diagnosis has to be done by very well qualified professionals.

For decades, autism has been widely misunderstood by so many— and it feels like nowhere is this more evident than in the way we so often miss or misinterpret the “signs” in girls. Despite the ever growing awareness, many autistic women and girls still go undiagnosed until adulthood, if at all. And by then, they’ve often spent years struggling, masking, and wondering why things feel harder for them than everyone else. This was me!! I was also diagnosed with HFA when all along my anxiety is a byproduct of my AuDHD.

So why does this happen? And more importantly — what can we do to understand ourselves (or our daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters, pupils) better?

Autism Was Historically Studied in Boys

Much of the early research into autism was based on young boys, meaning that the diagnostic criteria and examples used for years have been “male-presenting” by default. The old fashioned classic signs — like intense interests in trains or lining up toys — don’t always reflect how autism might look in girls even today!

Newer studies are suggesting that girls often present VERY differently. Their autistic “traits” can often be more internal, less “disruptive”, ( sorry for the negative language, I mean no offence) and more emotionally complex. As a result, many professionals simply don’t recognise them or see them as something else.

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Girls Are Often The Masters of Masking – I Mask Every Day!

Many autistic girls (and women) become expert social chameleons. From a young age, we have had to learn to copy others, mimic behaviours, and rehearse “scripts” to get through social situations. I did this all through my adolescence but I didn’t even know I was doing it! It was only as we learned about the boys diagnosis we could see the similarities and struggles .

On the outside, we may seem chatty, friendly, or even popular( I know, big headed!) — but inside, we are so often exhausted, anxious, or confused by the constant effort it takes to “fit in.” This is why I try not to fit in any more and adapt my surroundings to be with mostly neurodivegent people or those with a great understanding.

For little girls this masking can hide their challenges so effectively that even teachers, parents, or doctors may not see the signs. But masking doesn’t mean a person is coping — it often means they’re trying to survive. THIS IS NOT SUSTAINABLE!

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Struggles Are Often Mislabelled

Instead of being identified as autistic, many girls are diagnosed with:

These co-occurring issues may be very real — but they’re often symptoms of undiagnosed autism, not separate diagnosis. Finding the primary diagnosis of AuDHD was what knitted all of my individual challenges to together and has then led for me to have a greater understanding of what I need and why.

Girls might also be labelled as “dramatic,” “moody,” “bossy,” or “shy,” without deeper reflection on what’s underneath those behaviours.

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So What Can We Do to Help Ourselves and Each Other?

If you think that you or someone you love might be autistic, here are steps you can take to move forward with curiosity and compassion:

1. Learn about female autism traits

Start with voices from autistic women and girls. Look for books, blogs, and videos that reflect your experience — not just clinical lists of symptoms.

Some signs to explore:

2. Speak to professionals who understand female and PDA profiles

Not all GPs or specialists are up to date with modern autism understanding — especially when it comes to girls and women. Look for neuro-affirming professionals, or reach out to charities and organisations that specialise in female autism. We recommend The SENDcast as a great start.

3. Connect with community

Whether online or in person, finding others who “get it” can be life-changing. You’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it. Spaces like Instagram, Facebook groups, and neurodivergent-led podcasts can be great places to start.

4. Reflect on your own journey

Diagnosis is helpful for many, but not always necessary. If learning about autism helps you understand and support yourself or your child better — that insight is powerful in itself. You don’t need permission to be kind to your brain.

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Missing the signs of autism in girls doesn’t mean we’ve failed — it means we’re still unlearning old ideas. As awareness grows, more and more girls and women are finally seeing themselves clearly for the first time — and learning that their differences are valid, meaningful, and even beautiful.

Autism isn’t just something to be “spotted” — it’s something to be understood, embraced, and supported.

Because when we stop asking, “Why didn’t I see it sooner?” and start asking, “What do I need now?” — that’s when real acceptance and healing begins.

Disclaimer:
The views and experiences shared here are our own and based on our personal journey as a neurodivergent family. We are not medical or clinical professionals. What works for us may not work for everyone. Always seek professional advice if you’re concerned about your child’s needs or development.