Self-care is the act of consciously taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being to promote health and wellness. It’s about prioritising your needs and engaging in activities that help you feel better and live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
For me as a busy parent carer, this is simply unachievable in its ideal sense. I am not in any way able to prioritise MY needs. Since becoming a mum my entire life has had to revolve around my children because we are a neurodivergent family.
When other people talk about the key aspects of their self care like maintaining a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, exercising etc, I can’t help but feel a little jealous. Not because I would in any way change my life, I wouldn’t, but I do sometimes wonder what life would have looked like for us if we weren’t, well… US!
But then I remember, EVERYTHING we are and EVERYTHING we have is because of our amazing neurogivergent brains.
My husbands professional drive comes from his monotropism. My work here at AA stems from a passion driven by my own ADHD and an innate need to support our own autistic children and the many kids that face similar challenges. Our childrens empathy and extensive knowledge of their rights and the legislation that supports them, comes from their acute sensitivity to injustice…again, a neurodivergent thing!
That’s when I give myself a metaphorical slap and pick myself up. Comparing ourselves to others is fruitless.
However, I am only human. I get tired, I get sad, I get anxious , I get overwhelmed and I have medical support to help me, something for which I will always speak openly about.
So self care for me is not like the majority of peoples. There are no spa days or Hen weekends. There are no romantic meals out alone or lavish parties. But, we have found our own way to look after our mental health and give ourselves some self love and rest!
Disney!!!! Something about Disney has always made me so happy. We go all together and each have our own individual favourite parts. In fairness , holidays of all kinds help us as a family so if you are able…do!!! My mum used to say ” it’s better to have a full memory bank than a financial one” 🙂
Movie nights, where we sit in our lounge with a movie and eat junk food….not nutritionally sound but great for the mental health.
Letting the housework sit for a day. You can always clean up tomorrow once you’ve rested ( although often I cant rest until I’ve tidied, depends on my mood that day!).
PJ weekends, SAY NO TO INVITES AND CHILL OCCASIONALLY….beautiful!!
Have bath with netflix on your phone.
And finally, give yourself some slack. This is NOT easy. The “One day at a time” ethos has got me through some really rough patches.
The SENDcast is a weekly podcast focusing on Special Educational Needs, it is an amazing way to keep up to date with all the different areas within SEN, best practices and to improve your knowledge .
It’s a go-to hub for all things SEND, offering free weekly podcasts and online CPD training. It’s aim is to help teachers, parents, and professionals to support children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities.
Created by the B Squared Team and hosted by the rather brilliant Dale Pickles, this online resource shares years of experience working with schools and has been an endless support for the work we do here at Awesome Archie.
We first met Dale at the TES SEND show back in 2023 when we spoke to him on the SENDcast exhibit stand. I introduced myself as a TES “first timer” and shared a little about the work we do . I took a photo of the stand and promised to google them when Ian and I got back to our hotel. That night that’s exactly what we did ! From that moment The SENDcast has been a weekly part of my ongoing need for CPD and has helped us grow as a team in both knowledge and confidence.
After keeping in touch and then meeting up again in London last year , I couldn’t believe my luck when Dale said that he would love to have Archie and I record our very own podcast with him. WE JUMPED AT THE CHANCE!!!!!!!
I don’t mind admitting that we were both a bit nervous at the thought of being on the very same Podcast that the “Industry greats” educated people like us!! But Archie and I had no reason to be worried. We were made so welcome by Dale and his team. We had a personal tour of the amazing B Squared office and the SENDcast studio in Camberley and Archie had all the time in the world to acclimatize to his surroundings.
Archie spoke to Dale about the daily challenges he faced as a neurodivergent child in a mainstream school that simply had no idea what to do with him. He talked about how specialist provision has “allowed” him to just be “Archie”, therefore has helped his confidence and his academic skills to grow. We are incredibly proud of him for speaking so openly and honestly. I’ll link his AWESOME podcast below, please do check it out 🙂
Mine was essentially a good old natter about what being a mum, a 1:1 and an often misunderstood neurodivergent adult is like in the world of education. We touched on the immense lack of TA support ( not their fault) , the lack of funding and the many chunks of terminology that are still widely unknown ( in our personal experience).
I’ll pop the link below and we would love you to listen 🙂
So to Dale and the team THANKYOU SO MUCH. This was a real career highlight for both Archie and I and we are truly grateful for the opportunity.
For our readers, whether TA’s, Teachers, SLT , Parents/ carers….please do listen to the SENDcast podcasts and sessions. There is a wealth of varied subjects and often answers to the many questions that you may not feel comfortable asking a colleague.
“Perfection is unachievable, but empathy is all you need to make a kids life better!” Awesome Archie
Before you read on I need to apologise, this blog post is full of pictures of me.🤣
Not because I love myself (in fact most of the time it’s quite the opposite) but because I am currently studying psychology and I am proudly on a really exciting self discovery journey.
I am going to say it….I’ve always felt like “the weird one” amongst my family and friends.
It’s a term that I own with pride actually. Our first book, Awesome Archie and Mickey the fedora wearing super-puss, states at the end ” being weird is the new cool” and both Archie and I still stand by that statement. But although I’ve always been OK being and looking ” different” I am pleased to now have the ability to get a greater understanding as to why I am like I am.
Self-discovery is an essential journey because it lays the foundation for personal growth, a feeling of fulfillment, and a more meaningful life. It can help you to identify what truly matters to you and can allow you to clarify your values and beliefs, which can then help to guide your decisions and actions moving forward.
Learning about my neurotype has encouraged me to live authentically and has allowed me to align my actions with MY true self rather than the societal expectations. Yes, this does mean that I have had to be brave and advocate for myself and my sons and yes, I have not always remained close to those that I was once close to. But I have realised that this is more a reflection on them and not us….that’s what self discovery has done.
IT HAS BEEN ( and I’m sure will continue to be ) LIFE CHANGING!
According to our research, when you get to know yourself, you can set goals that are in harmony with your passions and aspirations, which in turn increases the chances of achieving life satisfaction and maybe even professional success. Here’s hoping 😉
It can help you to communicate YOUR needs and set boundaries more effectively, while also having empathy and hopefully gaining deeper connections with others.
One of the first questions for myself was, ” why do I always change my hair colour and why do I like weird clothes?…..no joke….I googled it 🤣 It turns out that once again , it’s all to do with my awesome neurodivergent brain and my need for dopamine which I obtain through my appearance.
“Dopamine dressing” is a term that describes the practice of intentionally choosing clothing or outfits that boost your mood and evoke feelings of happiness and positivity. This concept is rooted in the idea that what we wear can influence our emotions, as dopamine is a neurotransmitter and hormone associated with pleasure and reward.
When I read it I knew… this is me. Infact, this is Archie too! Feeling good about what you’re wearing can improve your self-esteem and bright or cheerful outfits can lift your emotions. Not only that but it’s suggested that experimenting with colors, styles, and accessories can even spark your own creativity.
This makes so much sense to Archie and I. When you feel great in your outfit, you’re more likely to engage positively with others and dressing in a way that reflects YOUR personality helps you to feel confident and authentically YOU!!! This will hopefully then boost your mood naturally.
So we are here to encourage you to check this out for yourself. Identify colors that make you happy and experiment with mixing patterns and textures. Accessorize with items that bring you joy, like funky earrings or a fun handbag and try not to be afraid to step outside your comfort zone “fashion is a playground for self-expression.”
Dopamine dressing is essentially about using fashion as a tool to enhance your mental well-being and embrace joy in your everyday life. FUN!!!!!!!!
For us… it is the way forward 🙂
We have created a plus size – cruise addition outfit insp vid on TikTok. Check it out here if you want some ideas to get you started.
Now , if you follow us on our socials you may be thinking…restful?? But for us, rest is different.
We are a happily, busy family. There is no “lets spend the day reading”, for us there has to be lots of activity but that still feels a whole lot less stressful than school runs, heading out to work etc.
The kids and I have spent a lot of time just being in our PJ’s. Lots of art, lots of movies and even a bit of Pickleball .
My only AA work commitment this holiday was an absolute corker. I was fortunate to be invited to J.P Morgan to talk about our autistic life. The challenges, the awesome parts and the bits we’ve learned along the way.
Having been a parent carer for 17 years, an experienced 1:1 TA and having a bank of brilliant professionals that I trust to call upon when I get stuck…. we felt ready to talk about OUR autistic experience.
I was lucky enough to present in a board room and had our presentation shared via zoom to those working from home. It felt very grown up 🙂
I would like to thank Debbie Bexon and Annabelle Underwood for setting this awesome opportunity up for us and we can’t wait to come and visit you again 🙂
See, that’s it…. I told you it was a quiet one. We hope that you all had a wonderful Easter, whatever you chose to do. See you next week and thanks for reading 🙂
Now before we begin I’d like to address the title of this piece. I am fully aware that many people within the neurodivergent community are not keen on terminology such as ” high functioning” which of course we respect. For me, I’m ok with it, which is also my right as a neurodivergent individual too. I used that term for this piece based solely on the fact the the knowledge learned, distilled and then shared for our readers has been greatly influenced by Dr. lalitaa Suglani’s book entitled ” High Functioning anxiety- a five step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving”. It felt wrong for me to try and rename .
Please know that Archie and I write these pieces from the heart and with nothing but love. We make NO money from the work we do and all of our hard work is on a VOLUNTEER basis purely to support others. We never mean ANY offence with our choice of terminology , especially as we are discussing our OWN beautiful brains. All of what we do and who we are is based on OUR feelings, OUR life and Our experiences.
With NHS doctors appointments getting harder to lock down and wait times growing longer and longer, it’s no wonder that so many of us are turning to websites, literature and homeopathic support outside of the elusive GP surgeries.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we are ALL for self support and education however, you really have to know where to start looking in order to get the correct support for YOU!
Unless you have vast experience in the field, it is easy to misdiagnose yourself and spend a lot of time and money looking in the wrong direction. That’s why we believe that it’s ALWAYS best to get a professional diagnosis wherever you can… it just won’t happen tomorrow. In the meantime, we hope that our content and blogs may help you learn a little more about your own brain type so you can feel as though you have more clarity when the doctor appointment finally does become available.
This recent bout of research on our part has come from a need for me to discover why my anxiety is so vastly different to our autistic son, who has a PDA profile. Surely anxiety is anxiety? You feel scared? You can’t face things? We all feel the same? NO, NO, NO!!!!
After months of studying hard I have been able to sort many of our characteristics into “where they would sit within a diagnosis” piles. This has meant that I have also been able to offer the correct support for both my son and myself. GAMECHANGING!
In this blog, we aim to share OUR experience and, hopefully, it may help you too! But please do remember… I am not a psychologist or GP so this is purely from my own personal/family experience 🙂
In our last post, we spoke about high functioning anxiety, please do check it out. I have spent hours online and have read (cover to cover) a lot of literature, including the brilliant book “High Functioning Anxiety” by Dr Lalitaa and have tried to share the bones of what I discovered. The main one being that this diagnosis didn’t seem to be a “fit” for either Herbie or I… which surprised me. We are both HUGELY anxious but our anxiety must be rooted by some other diagnosis… so I continued my research.
Roll up High Masking ADHD!!!
“High masking ADHD” is a term used to describe when individuals actively or unconsciously suppress or “mask” the outward signs of ADHD. Whether meaning to or not, they do this to fit in with societal expectations or to avoid stigma. Often this leads to emotional exhaustion and difficulty maintaining the facade over time.
I was shocked to see that this is ME!!! The “advocate”, the “shout loud and proud about neurdivergency”, the ” be proud to be you” ME!!! WTF!!!!
This is where the “unconscious suppression” bit comes into play.
I am a HUGELY PROUD neurodivergent and don’t like to believe that I would ever dull that flame, but this has made me realise… I do, more than I even recognised myself.
For example…
Excessive Preparation:
I Spend an inordinate amount of time rehearsing conversations/presentations, planning tasks, or organising to feel competent and in control. I didn’t realise that when people say to me “aren’t you so organised?!” and I feel great, it’s probably because I’ve tried really hard and it’s been such hard work for me to get there! They think that I have it all under control, I don’t I just over prepare.
Overcompensation:
I used to be guilty of repeatedly going above and beyond expectations in my old job. I never knew why. Unfortunately for me, no matter how hard I worked my differences were 100% perceived as deficits and so I soon learned to “not be me” to stop my employers realising how hard I was finding my 1:1 TA position with such little support.
That is one of the many reasons that we now do what we do, and for that I am grateful.
Rigid Self-Control:
Suppressing impulsive behaviours, such as interrupting or fidgeting, even when it feels unnatural or uncomfortable. I actually only do this in a work setting. Thankfully my friends and family all “get it” so I have plenty of time outside of that particular mask. When we are teacher training I am mask-free and endlessly fidgeting. This helps grow understanding and I am proud to be me when it comes to supporting others 🙂
So what are my cognitive signs?
Mental Exhaustion:
I often feel drained from the constant effort to monitor and control my thoughts and actions. I go to bed HOURS before my husband and still sleep soundly and for a long time. It’s tough and exhausting having ADHD!
Difficulty Switching Gears:
I definitely struggle to transition between tasks. I am fine at home because I am in control of the whole day, but relinquishing that control and going with the flow, consumes all of my mental energy. I think most people would agree that I only have two gears… full throttle or parked 🙂
Overthinking:
I hate this one. Sadly, I analyse pretty much every interaction I have ever had. It’s grim! So grim that I wont waste any more of my time on it… bet I’ll analyse that later too!
It’s no wonder that life’s tough sometimes. Consistently bottling up emotions during the day can lead to meltdowns or heightened emotions in private. Just ask my amazing husband! I have no idea what I’d do without him x
So I found MY “fit” but what about Herbie?
Introducing PDA.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is an autistic profile characterised by an extreme need to avoid everyday demands and expectations due to high levels of anxiety. Losing control puts you into fight or flight.
Key Features of PDA
Extreme Demand Avoidance:
Our son avoids tasks or expectations, even those that he would typically enjoy, as a way to manage his overwhelming anxiety. He doesn’t know he’s doing it and he doesn’t know why… it’s a natural protection mode for him!
Need for Control:
He displays a strong drive to control situations and that of those around them to reduce perceived threats to his autonomy.
Social Strategies to Avoid Demands:
He will use tactics such as distraction, excuses, negotiation, or charm to sidestep demands. This is where the hurtful comments roll in, like…”he’s spoiled”, or “you just need to say no more”… not helpful in the least!
High Levels of Anxiety:
Herbie experiences intense anxiety triggered by the expectation of meeting demands or by perceived loss of control. This is why mainstream school is so exhausting for him, and he is well supported! He really struggles with fixed routines or being told what to do, which can lead to challenges in structured environments like school .
Mood Swings and Emotional Dysregulation:
Sadly he has rapid shifts in mood, often tied to his level of perceived control or demand pressure.
Demand Avoidance Across Contexts:
We know that this is correct for Herbie as his avoidance behaviours are not situational but are present in multiple settings, including home, school, or on holiday. Its just our beautiful boys brain and, no matter how hard it gets, we will ALWAYS stand with him in support.
Differences Between PDA and Other Autism Profiles
I recently read…
Unlike some other autistic individuals, those with PDA may have relatively strong social communication skills, using charm, humour, or manipulation to manage interactions.
The avoidance in PDA is rooted in a need to manage anxiety and maintain control, whereas avoidance in other profiles may stem from difficulty with executive functioning or sensory overload.
We hope that you have found this useful and please do remember to follow us on TikTok for daily content like this 🙂
Disclaimer – The views expressed on this account are our own and do not represent the views of any employer or any affiliated organisations. We share because we care but you the reader are in control of how you choose to use the information given.
Anxiety has ALWAYS been a part of my life. I know that mine stems from my own Autistic need for control to feel secure and my ADHD’s overactive mind often makes me feel like I am not good enough.
In my field I am hugely confident, but generally speaking I am anxious about pretty much everything else. This can be debilitating at times and I don’t mind sharing that I only manage so well as I have been successfully medicated for this for the last 14 years. Again, something that people still don’t like talking about!
However, my neurodivergent brain is always encouraging me to learn, and with my favourite topic in the whole world being the brain and its incredible psychology , I am usually never more than a couple of feet away from a psychology book!
Joshua and I have just returned from a short cruise ( adult time), and during our break I devoured the most remarkable book written by Dr. Lalitaa. It is entitled: “High functioning anxiety- a five step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving.”
With having anxiety myself and loving an autistic child with a PDA profile, it never hurts me to understand a little about the way our awesome brains do what they do, and this book delivered!
I soon realised that high functioning anxiety doesn’t seem to present like mine. When I am anxious, EVERYONE knows it. I am either playing the fool to lighten the mood, short tempered because I feel “out of control”, or very emotional. People with HFA are EPIC and wearing a mask, often smiling their widest when they are feeling at their worst!
They have a huge inner critic and are often telling themselves that they aren’t good enough, even when those around them think that they are doing well!
According to the book, the fear of “not being good enough” can push those with HFA to do all they can to excel, fearing judgement of failure. This is also the reason that they are so often “people pleasers” as they believe that saying “no” will lead to rejection.
This really hit me. I feel anxious because I have to say no to so many things to guard my mental health and reduce the risk of burnout; (I rarely socialise outside of my beautiful family). But, those with HFA are so concerned by and afraid of rejection or judgement that UNABLE to say “no thanks.”
This essentially means that you are slave to everyone else, with no ability to put your own needs, and that of your own children/partner before colleagues and friends.
Interestingly a person with HFA often doesn’t need validation from their children/partner as they KNOW that they are loved and so wont be rejected. Sadly this means they are often the ones that miss out on a lot of precious family time because HFA took over! This then creates guilt and then even more anxiety!
I can’t imagine how exhausting that must be!
So we have decided that we need to help.
Over the next few weeks we will be sharing lots of hints and tips on our socials, explaining how to support yourself or your loved ones who show the many signs of living with High functioning anxiety.
Please know that you are not alone!
There are therapists, Dr’s, Physiologists, pieces of literature, online info and so much support out there if you are able to ask.
Please remember to follow us on our TikTok page for support with this.
Welcome back to our website and to this, our latest blog post.
Our eldest Son Josh is not only a super hero sibling, but a huge behind the scenes content creator for us . I was elated to discover that he had treated me to a mini cruise to Bruges as a Mothers day gift.
The idea was that we could enjoy some care free adult time and I could do one of the things that I LOVE most…content creating!.
I have been Archie’s full time carer for the last 16 years and although I am proud to do this for him, I was more than overdue the break. I am Archie’s primary care giver and my Husband works REALLY long hours, so this was a real eye opener for us both. Ian stopped work to care for the kids and I had to try and remember what being “Beckie” not Mum, was like.
Needless to say that although I tried, I never fully left Mum mode as the kids were of course relentlessly on my mind, but I had a wonderful break and grew so much closer to our adult son, which was magical. I certainly feel refreshed and ready for 2 whole weeks with our busy brood over the Easter break.
P&O’s Ventura itself was beautiful and the size reminded me very much of The Disney Magic, my favourite cruise ship. But what hugely impressed us was the Autism support on board.
I was fortunate enough to chat to a number for staff about what we do at Awesome Archie and they willingly shared information about on board adaptations to support Autistic travelers. I certainly felt right at home and “seen” as an autistic woman who always has a lot of questions. Massive thanks to all the crew for talking to us about your neurodivergent support.
“P&O Cruises offer accessibility support for autistic passengers, including assistance with boarding, dining, and during the muster drill. They do encourage advance notification of any specific needs via the on-board “needs” questionnaire”
You can do this soon after booking but no later than 2 weeks before sailing.
There is also a disability service via an email where you can request assistance with boarding ( including a priority check in) or a security escort. Simply highlight your specific area of need and P&O will do what they can to support you in having a smooth and enjoyable holiday.
How great is that? It made Josh and I wonder what would happen if mainstream schools took that same level of empathy and adopted that individualised support method?! I can’t help feeling that things would work out a lot better both in school and for the families that we proudly support and the pupils that so often go ” unseen”.
There are also accommodations that can be made within the dining portion of your cruise. You can contact the MDR manager to arrange a specific table, time, and potentially pre-order meals to reduce your anxiety. You can even request a table in a corner facing the wall to minimize distractions. We just couldn’t believe the level of support available.
Well done P&O!!!
Some additional tips for our Autistic families travelling on P&O’s Ventura.
Consider Shore Experiences:Explore accessible shore experiences, which will be marked as “accessible” on My P&O Cruises.
Low Activity Filter: If you have reduced mobility or use a walking aid but are not a wheelchair user, use the “low activity” search filter when browsing shore experiences.
Safety Information: Be aware of the ship’s size, heavy doors, raised thresholds, and other safety information when moving around the ship.
Mobility Aids: Mobility scooters and wheelchairs are welcome .
Support with food alergies
P&O explained…
If you have food concerns just Customer Contact Centre or your travel agent know about any allergies, special dietary requirements or food intolerances when you book or no later than 3 days prior to departure.
If you book through the P&O website, you’ll need to call and make the Customer Contact Centre aware of your special dietary needs on 03453 555 111 (local call charges apply).
Vegetarian and vegan diets are catered for as standard across our fleet in all restaurants. Guests who follow a kosher diet must inform P&O no later than 10 weeks before you set sail. The alergy web page says…
“We’re delighted to provide peace of mind through tailored menu options. We’ll always do our very best to accommodate everyone’s needs on board.
You’ll receive a welcome letter in your cabin inviting you to meet the Food and Beverage team. During this meeting, you’ll have the chance to talk with them about food safety during your holiday, gain advice on which restaurants to eat at, and find out how to pre-order your meals. We’ll be happy to organise and book dining for you in the Freedom and Club restaurants or make any reservations for the speciality restaurants. Guests with severe allergies are advised to use the included Freedom and Club restaurants to further minimise the risk of cross-contamination. Room service has a list of all guests’ dietary requirements and allergies.”
On board info
The horizon magazine that is popped into your room daily, gives you all the days activities. This meant that we were able to make a plan. ( As an AuDHDer I NEED a good plan)
We could schedule our meals and shows and press our formal wear in good time. Planning makes all the difference for me so this was a feature that I LOVED! There is also a phone in your room and you can call reception for any further queries 🙂
For details on our day to day activities simply follow us on TikTok. We have also added some vlogs linked here for your ease !
Bruges is a medieval masterpiece that is often described as the Venice of the North.
With its cobbled streets, stunning canals, and breathtaking architecture, you feel as though you took journey back in time. As Josh and walked through the little streets, we were mesmerized by its unique blend of history, art, and CHOCOLATE!!! From the swan-filled canals to the frighteningly low bridges, every corner of Bruges tells a story and WHAT a story it was !!!
Seeing as this was our first independent holiday, we decided to opt for a P&O excersion into Bruges itself . This meant that we were picked up at our port, driven on a coach with a lovely guide and picked up later in the day. This meant that my level of anxiety was greatly reduced as once again… WE HAD A PLAN!!! We even had a number to call if we got lost and our guide would come and rescue us…thankfully this wasn’t needed!
We walked for almost six hours, ensuring that we had coffee, lunch and water breaks along the way. We also enjoyed a canal tour that was tremendous value for money . It was 15 euros per person as apposed to the 70 euro horse and cart tour. This was also the moment we took full advantage of the free Cafe wifi so we could message home 🙂 Needless to say, I was missing the kids.
Both Josh and I had an amazing time and we will definitely be going back on a short cruise with Ventura however, I was relieved that we didnt have the boys with us. We recognised that for them, the Stag and Hen parties would have been very overwhelming. The few days and amazing value for money will inevitably bring these kind of fun parties on board, so we would suggest going for a longer length cruise to have a calmer and more family friendly feel.
We genuinly loved it and I want to say a massive thanks to Our Son Josh for being such an AWESOME ship mate…. bring on the next one 😉
Neurodiversity Week is an annual event dedicated to raising awareness and promoting understanding of neurodiversity and neurogivergency.
Neurodiversity is all of us, our brains are all different. We have different tastes in food, love of music and preferred celebs … Ant or Dec? ” (Mines Dec BTW 😉 ) Our brains may all look similar, but each one has varying areas of strengths and interests, thankfully that’s why we are all different.
Neurodivergency refers to the people with further variations in brain function and cognition such as the awesome autistic community, those with ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and other neurological differences. ALL should be recognised, celebrated and respected as part of our amazing human diversity!
We are forever fighting the fact that, so often, these AWESOME differences are still regularly viewed as disorders or deficits. This means that many parents may be afraid to acknowledge the signs or may feel too overwhelmed or intimidated to go down “that” path.
Mainstream schools often regard the number of kids with an EHCP as a problem to address, not realising the ENORMOUS potential these kids have, if only they received the correct support!
The goal of Neurodiversity Week is to highlight the strengths and unique perspectives of all brain types, but particularly focusing on neurodivergent individuals, reduce stigma, and foster inclusion in all areas of society including education, the workplace, and beyond. It’s a time to educate people about the importance of embracing ALL ways of thinking, learning, and processing information, and to support a more inclusive environment for those who are neurodivergent.
This is what we do here at Awesome Archie. With two of our four beautiful children being neurodivergent , and me having a late awakening to my own neurodivergency… it’s our privilege to do what we do!
One of the main issues of true inclusivity in mainstream schools is the appalling lack of funding and up to date training. One “what is autism?” training session every couple of years is nowhere near enough. We spend hours every day reading, researching, checking the DofE SEND updates, listening to podcasts (thanks to the SENDcast) and STILL have trouble keeping up to date with terminology, guidance and rule changes. However, we are trying and that’s all we ask of school staff.
Sadly, there is nothing we can do to correct the financial deficits that so many schools face, but we CAN support you with up to date training and the use of our visuals FOR FREE!!!!
We are based in the south of England and all of our “in person” training sessions are fully booked up until March 2026! However, we happily share online content for you to use in your twilight sessions or just send to staff members for them to watch at their own pace.
(By the way, all of our in person training is free but we do have to charge for travel expenses if heading further than Southampton to make this viable.)
With all that being said, we have spent the week creating more visual tools to use in school or at home and have added them to our resource bank. Simply screen shot or right click on the image and select download . Here are just a couple, pop up to our “Visuals” tab for more 🙂
We hope that by sharing this information, you will feel empowered to, not only support your wonderful neurodivergent students, but to advocate for their needs and rights as well!
Do feel free to drop us an email for more info 🙂
Fun at The PicklePad!
Brace yourself, I did a sport and LOVED IT!!!!!
OK, I realise that this may sound ridiculous, but for anyone that knows me well, you will know that I have always found sporting activities very overwhelming. Not only being neurodivergent but also having been 8 stone heavier in my past, sport has only ever terrified me. This is one of the many reasons we love working with Dan Moody (School Sport Partnership Manager & School Games Organiser) as we are able to share our insights as to why we think many kids find sport so tough. The PicklePad is one of our latest recommendations!
In January the ENORMOUS PicklePad opened. It is the first hybrid model for both pickle ball and padel, not only in the UK, but the whole of Europe!! I was lucky enough to have my first go at padel, and I LOVED it!;
PADEL
Padel is a mix of tennis, squash and badminton.
It is played on a small, enclosed court.
It is a cross between tennis and squash where the ball can bounce off the glass wall or metallic mesh that surrounds the court.
It is always played in doubles.
You play with a paddle. Padel is known for being fun, fast-paced, and sociable.
We have created some content showing you just how much fun it was and we would highly recommend you having a go. There was a real sense of community and, where else can you have some sporting fun followed by a fresh hot pie a massive glass of wine and great company?!
Thanks so much for allowing us to come and share this AWESOME space with you 🙂
Time to Reflect.
This week we said goodbye to one of our amazing family members, uncle Al.
Ally was so much more than an uncle for my husband and his sister. They lost their father suddenly when they were really young and Ally stepped in as their father figure and then, of course, grandfather figure. What a job he did and we are so sad that he’s no longer with us.
His amazing example prompted me to think about the parenting role itself, how extended parent/support figures are SO vital, particularly with neurodivergent families.
Parent/carers often face unique challenges that are emotionally, physically, and financially demanding. This is why family support is VITAL. As parents Ian and I have always relied on each other and our family members to help us get through what can be a very overwhelming parenting journey.
Caring for a loved one with additional needs can be emotionally exhausting. We so often experience stress, anxiety and even depression due to the demands of care-giving. Having a supportive family network provides a safe space for us to express our emotions, seek advice, and simply take a break when needed. It helps alleviate our feelings of isolation, which is common when so often we feel that others may not understand our personal struggles.
So, we dedicate this blog to “Ally Ally” with thanks and love. A 6ft 4in gentle giant who NEVER had a bad word to say about anyone. The man who helped my husband to be a remarkable father and a wonderful example to our children. You are forever loved and are greatly missed x
I have to be honest, this weeks blog update is being written by the power of coffee alone!! I am utterly exhausted but joyful about the truly amazing week of celebration that we have had.
Later in this post I will share some of the reality of living in the big wild world when your beautiful autistic brain faces so many challenges, but for now… we celebrate!
Twyhnam senior school have hosted us for the last 3 neurodiversity weeks but this year we ramped it up by hosting not one, but 2 assemblies 🙂
We spoke about the incredible brain and how none of us could live without it. We reminded the kids to keep a check on their mental health and how kindness is key but, we also hit them with some harsh reality. How trolling and ablism is a daily occurrence as a content creator and the impact that can have. (To clarify, Archie is never permitted to see ANY of our work comments so he is unaffected 🙂 )
We spoke to almost 600 students (over 2 days) and they were kind, respectful and listened beautifully. Thankyou Twynham for having us back and you are in the diary for next year… with excitement.
Reasonable adjustments and support for the Coaching Circle.
Dan Moody – School Sport Partnership Manager & School Games Organiser, contacted us to see if we would like to lead another “coaching circle” session and we, of course, said yes!
Via a teams meeting, we spoke about the potential challenges faced by neurodivergent students taking part in PE or sporting events. With Archie’s willingness to share his past experiences, we were able to create some information slides that have been emailed to all participants. MASSIVE thanks to Dan for giving us this opportunity and we can’t wait to hear all about the results in our next meeting 🙂
Archie’s work experience week
Now you KNOW that we are all about sharing the highs and the lows, and this week was ENORMOUSLY challenging for Archie. It was his work experience week and sadly , it didn’t go quite as planned.
Archie has a love of animals with a particular fondness for cats and small dogs. At just 13 he gained a diploma in feline behaviour and wellness so it’s been a theme for a while. However, Archie, like so many autistic people, struggles with often debilitating anxiety. Sadly for him this week, his anxiety took over and he was unable to continue his work experience. After experiencing multiple anxiety attacks, it was decided by all that this just wasn’t the right time for Arch to continue .
As his Mum I want to say an ENORMOUS thanks to The Winchelsea team for recognising Archie’s needs so perfectly and to Noarck, the boarding kennels that gave Archie such a wonderful opportunity. It didn’t work out as we’d hoped but we are so proud of what he achieved in the process.
Archie helped groom a husky, played with cats (even the spicy ones) and our proudest achievement… HE EXPRESSED HIS FEELINGS AND EXPLAINED THAT HE FELT UNWELL!!!!! We are SO PROUD of you Archie.
To end this post – we hope to remind you that inclusion is not about perfection.
There is no such thing.
Endlessly chasing perfection can only end in a feeling of failure and who needs that?! It’s about celebrating and recognising progress, no matter how small. It’s about having an open mind and showing empathy… even when life throws in a curve ball. It’s your loved ones or students knowing that you have their back! So go forth and be a loud and proud advocate for neurodivergncy… you could change a life!!!
WOWSERS, this has been a wonderfully busy week, lets jump right in!
We at Awesome Archie are always aiming to be up to date with the support that we provide (for free) to our many families, schools and workplaces.
We do this by keeping current with our CPD and constantly learning from the experts in the neurodivergent and educational field. Throughout the entire academic year, we are taught by the hundreds of industry experts via the SENDcast and annually we attend the NAS Professionals’ Conference.
This year was so helpful for us as a team. There was so much about the importance of being a consistent neuro-affirming educator, support worker, parent, carer. How small adjustments and lots of patience and empathy can literally change an entire life!
HOW INSPIRING IS THAT?! YOU CAN CHANGE A PERSONS LIFE!!!!
The conference itself was eight hours long with powerful insights from people like Holly Sprake-Hill, Carrie and David Grant, Holly Sutherland and Davida Hartman.
We also learned about a phenomenal, FREE senior school support called NEST. If you would like to hear details about this remarkable… and I’ll say it again “FREE” toolkit, please visit their website.
We pledge to continue to use ALL of the information learned to better support our community. We LOVE doing what we do and we never take for granted the privilege of sharing your parenting/teaching journey. Please, if you have any specific questions or need to be pointed in a new direction, drop us an email on awesomearchieontour@gmail.com and we will be happy to help 🙂
All our fresh knowledge will be turned into short, but valuable, daily content that you can access (for free!) via our socials… so follow us to ensure that you don’t miss out!!
This week, I have been lucky enough to see two local schools demonstrate the value and importance of a soft landing for their neurodivergent students.
The term “school soft landing” describes an environment where a pupil is met with warmth and no rush at the start of the school day. As each child is wonderfully unique, the landing should be too. For one child, entering via the school office 15 minutes early could be a great starter. For others, a TA welcoming with a gentle, quiet, playful and fun period before any work begins can be the key to a great day in class.
Unfortunately, with the school system being vastly underfunded and teaching staff so often not given the opportunity for regular and up to date SEN training, consistent, successful soft landings are rare. Enter Miss Lucy Dyer and Mrs Rowan Totczyk.
These two remarkable school support workers, both from different schools across Dorset and Hampshire, have demonstrated how an empathetic start to a child’s day can make all the difference. Both Ro and Lucy go above and beyond their “official job role”. We have consistently witnessed incredible art pieces (made at home in their free time) for pupils to enjoy. We’ve seen mindful meditations and “Mario Cart” themed exercises to support both monotropic interest and proprioceptive regulation.
THANKYOU TO YOU, YOU ARE BOTH AWESOME!
Lovely RoLovely Lucy
Thank you to Specsavers Christchurch for showing true neuroinclusivity!
Our family of six is proudly neurospicy! We love to share our adventures with anyone who’ll listen. We try to focus on the positives, but are realistic with the lows and share all of these emotions on our many socials. One of the areas that I struggle with the most is close interactions with strangers. I hate visiting the doctor, I am always uncomfortable at the dentist and getting my eyes checked is the worst. I mean, it’s not hard to see why?! You are literally sat nose to nose with a stranger that will shine a light in your eyes while asking multiple questions… nightmare! But not any more… and, before you ask… WE ARE NOT SPONSORED OR OBLIGED TO SHARE THIS!
Specsavers in Christchurch have gone above and beyond to make us all feel comfortable. From the lovely Kieran Bull (our optometrist) to Amelia Crabb who talked me through the dreaded “puff in eye” gadget… we are so thankful.
I simply explained that I was nervous and that being autistic meant that, for me, this kind of thing was tough. They looked after us with respect, care and empathy. Daisy and I now have beautiful brand-new specs, and the boys are following soon 🙂
